


I'll Tell You When I Get There

by Erin_Knightly_Tetch



Series: The Erin Knightly Trilogy [1]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Angst, Character Death, Family Drama, Family Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 15:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16121894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erin_Knightly_Tetch/pseuds/Erin_Knightly_Tetch
Summary: "I'll Tell You When I Get There" is 1 of 3 segments in a trilogy about My Batman OC, Erin Knightly.Erin was born to Elizabeth and Daniel Knightly but Elizabeth dies after childbirth, leaving her mourning husband to raise their child, however Daniel gives his daughter to his best friend and colleague, James Emerson, to raise instead. "I'll Tell You When I Get There" is a parallel of James & Erin coming to terms with Daniel Knightly's decisions and how those decisions effect them. This story focuses on Erin's ages from five years to age seventeen and how she experiences loss time and time again.





	1. I'll Tell You When I Get There

**Author's Note:**

> I will be adding additional tags in the characters/relationships once I get to the 2nd & 3rd segments of this trilogy. Be forewarned: this story includes character deaths.
> 
> I own my OC Erin Knightly, her parents, backstory.
> 
> All Batman Characters and it's elements belong to DC Comics.

_**I'll Tell You When I Get There: An Erin Knightly Fic** _

**Chapter 1**

The house on the corner of the street had a large yard with hedges making a fence all the way around, it also had a little iron gate that opened towards the home's walk way. The front yard was tiny but the grassy space was big enough and was currently occupied by a little girl with dark red curls. The messy unbrushed curls looked like bright fire under the overcast sky and her cornflower blue eyes were bright like the ocean's water. She looked up from her game of trying to catch a grasshopper as the mailman approached the mail box just outside the iron gate. The five year old gave a smile of delight and ran up to the gate to greet him. 

"Hello Mr. Sullivan, is there anything in there for me?" She asked. 

The mailman chuckled with a belly laugh, his face sweating from having walked up and down the entire street, "Sorry Ms. Knightly, nothing in there for you today", he told her. Noting her crestfallen face as she stared down at the ground, he bent down, straining his knees in the process, "But I'm sure there'll be something in there for you tomorrow". 

Erin Knightly looked up at him from beneath her curls, "You think?" She asked hopefully. 

"Tell you what", he gave her a kind smile, "If anything comes for you before my shift ends today, I'll personally deliver it to you". 

This seemed to lift her spirits a little. She was hoping maybe at least a birthday card or something might come. Her birthday had been two days ago but the man who usually came to her house didn't come. Maybe he was busy. She had been waiting all afternoon playing in the yard for the mail and now the wait had seemed futile. The door to the house opened and a man with short brown hair, sleeves pushed up past his elbows and an apron over his clothes, came out onto the porch. 

"Erin, I've made you a grilled cheese. It's time to come in before it rains!" 

"Okay James!" Erin called back. 

James Emerson waved to Mr. Sullivan, the postman, with a jaunty smile as Erin thanked him before turning and going up the small walk way and up the stairs into the house. James gave another wave before closing the door behind him. He smiled down at the redhead as she took off her shoes and fixed her socks. 

"Nothing still?" James asked as he wiped his hands on his apron. 

"No but Mr. Sullivan thinks maybe tomorrow", Erin grinned, her round face beamed with optimism. 

James only smiled and took her hand, walking with her into the kitchen. There was a children's plastic kitchen set up, as well as an Easy Bake Oven, in the far corner. _'Patron's'_ sat in plastic chairs near the Easy Bake Oven. The patrons were a pink and white bear, a Dalmatian with a fire engine's hat, a lion and a grey and white bunny. James reflected for a moment, as Erin got into her seat at the table, that he used to sit in this kitchen and drink wine and talk til late with both Daniel and Elizabeth. The kitchen was different. The fridge had Erin's paintings and drawings hung up. There were child's snacks and juice boxes in the fridge, taking the place of the adult foods like cheese and pepperoni and salads and such. There were animal place-mates on the table, taking the place of the plaid red and gold ones. 

_"She must have sort of intuition about these things"_ , James thought to himself as he sat down opposite the small child, _"Her mother used to sit there"._

It hadn't gotten any easier. Raising the little girl was...interesting. She had come home from her first day of Kindergarten upset that everyone had moms and dads and she didn't. She asked him many questions, every day. James had come close, many times, asking Daniel for guardian custody. James really wanted to call Erin his for the sake of giving her a father. Daniel did visit but it wasn't ideal. His visits were far and few in between, though did show up for Christmas and Birthdays and long afternoons in the summers. He did come for Halloweens and spent weekends in the Spring. Daniel wasn't a bad father by no means but James secretly wished Daniel would just leave his job, take Erin and get out of Gotham. 

"Do you want some of my grilled cheese?" Erin offered, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

"What? Oh. Oh no sweetie, you eat it", James smiled, "But thank you". 

"But that's not fair for me to eat in front of you", She told him, pushing her plate towards him, "You can have some of my carrots too", she smiled as she munched on a carrot. 

James felt tears building in his eyes and quickly wiped them away, "N-no, no that's fine. Thank you. Why don't I put them in a baggy and you can have them while you play". 

Erin didn't argue, due to having her mouth full, and nodded her head. James got up and went to the island counter, getting a sandwich baggy from one of the drawers. It was two days after her birthday and Daniel hadn't called or had given any sign he remembered. James must have assumed Erin had sensed it too since she had declared earlier that morning she was going to wait for the postman. And now she was sitting here eating her lunch as though she was fine with it. Putting the carrot sticks in the baggy, he gave them to her. 

"Be careful while you play. Remember to chew", He told her. 

"I will", Erin promised. 

The five year old put the carrot sticks in the pocket of her sweater before going off to explore. James sighed and put his face in his hands, telling himself to keep it together. He knew Daniel was working and he held himself back from calling him and giving him an earful. Instead, James decided to clean up the kitchen and figure out what meals for the rest of the week. 

Erin loved playing adventurer and wander the house. Even though it was a two story home, it was big and it made her feel like she was a tiny mouse. The feeling made her giggle happily as she got on all fours and climbed up the stairs, pretending she was climbing a mountain. When she reached the top of the stairs, she made a noise as though she'd climbed a huge mountain. "And we made it to the top!" She said out loud to herself, throwing her arms up in a victorious fashion. She turned to her left and then to her right. There were six doors in total on the second floor. Her room, James's room, the bathroom, a hallway closet, a second guest bedroom and a door she'd never opened before. Erin went into her room first and grabbed her most trusted companion, a white rabbit with a red coat and bow tie. He was a stuffed animal that Erin had ever since she was born and had no idea that it was a gift from her mother. 

"Okay Mr.Ears, we're going where no bunny or little girl has gone before", Erin told the rabbit as she walked towards the door at the end of the hallway a few minutes later. 

The door wasn't kept locked or anything special like that. Erin had just never given it a second thought before. But today was different. She was feeling a bit more curious than usual. The little girl had a very hyper active imagination, something her own classmates found weird and distanced themselves from her. The redhead reached up and wiggled the doorknob until it clicked and the door swung open. It was mid afternoon so the room had a bit of light. Erin peered around the corner, bringing her stuffed rabbit close to her chest. The room was somewhat empty save for a large bed, a dresser, a couple of night stands and a lamp. There was a cushioned high back chair off to the right and a rocking chair near the window. It wasn't empty like completely devoid of furniture, it just felt...empty. 

Erin stood in the doorway, feet squeezed together as though afraid something might come out and grab her. She looked around again before adventuring in. The room seemed absent of color or any kind of character. The five year old shuffled along the carpet, peering around as though hoping she might find something like treasure. She opened all the drawers in the dresser that she could manage but found nothing in there or the nightstands or under the bed. She even noticed this bedroom had it's own bathroom but there wasn't anything in there except a spider, in which Erin flinched and closed the door, apologizing for walking in on him without knocking. 

"Ears, this is the only door we haven't tried", Erin spoke to her rabbit companion, as she stood facing the closet door. 

She tentatively grasped the door handle and pulled it open, peering into the darkness before the light from the windows streamed across, at least allowing her to see that there were some boxes sitting together on the floor. The only thing hanging up in the closet was a white bag that seemed to have a dress in it, Erin could see the bottom of a white dress from the bottom. Her eyes fell to the boxes and saw that they were closed only slightly. She gently set her stuffed rabbit down on the ground as she sat with him. 

"James won't mind if I take a tiny peek", Erin said aloud, opening the first box. Her eyes lit up and she smiled as she saw the box was full of- "Books!" She squeaked happily, her curls seemingly bouncing along with her movements. 

Although she could not yet read or understand stories or comprehend anything beyond Dr. Sessus and Winnie the Pooh, Erin adored books. She loved looking at magazines and newspapers and even trying to do to the crossword puzzle with James. She yearned to be able to read so she could read to James and maybe other adults too if they wanted her to. The books in the box were dusty and were in hardcover. She tried to move the box but it was too heavy for her tiny arms so she just settled for pulling them out. Erin pulled out the first book and dusted it off. The cover of the book had a little girl following a rabbit down a hole... 

_Alice....Wonderland?_ What could it all mean? But it excited her. 

Erin set it down and took out the next book and the next. Each cover different from the next. There was a boy flying through the sky with a tiny fairy, there was a man and an angry looking whale, there was a lion, a witch and what looked to be a dresser but bigger. Erin sat back on the floor, grabbing the copy of _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_ and opened it in her lap. Carefully turning the pages and looking at the words and pictures. She could sound out words and such, but this book was something James would have to read her until she learned how. She sat quietly what felt like ages, just looking at the book. Pausing and admiring the pictures. She laughed and giggled at the funny man in the top hat. 

"M", Erin sounded out the 'M' noise, 'Mmmm AAAA D", she pronounced the letters, "Mad", she'd seen that word before but felt proud she was sounding out her letters like James taught her, "The Mad", she used her finger like she saw her teacher do sometimes, "Hat"-"Ter"--"Hatter". Erin felt a swell of pride as she did it all by herself, "The Mad Hatter", she finished, again feeling a swell of pride rising in her chest. 

She was about to call out to James to tell him she read all by herself without help when she heard him call for her while coming up the stairs. Erin closed the book and carried it with her out of the room and came to a stop as soon as James came up the stairs. It startled him because she was so fast and he caught her before she tumbled past him down the stairs. Erin held up the book towards him happily. 

"James look! Look what I found! Will you read this to me? I sounded out words all by myself-" Erin started talking excitedly and incredibly fast. 

"What--Erin where did you find this?" James asked, out of breath and gently taking the book from her as she passed it to him. 

"In there. Me and Mr. Ears found boxes!" Erin smiled up at him. 

James ruffled her hair with a small smile and walked into the bedroom Erin indicated. The closet door was open and the books were out, not all of them but enough that she had them askew on the rug. James looked at the boxes sadly, seeing Daniel's hand writing on the boxes. _**Elizabeth's Books**_ was on the box Erin had opened and the second box said _**Photo Albums**_ , which had Daniel and Elizabeth's photos and wedding photos in them. Erin was at his side a second later, having picked up her stuffed rabbit. 

"James? Are you okay?" Erin asked quietly, tugging on his hand. 

"Y--yeah, I just--uh--thinking", He smiled at her, "Go play in your room and I'll dust off these books for you and put them in your room on your shelf". 

Erin danced happily on the balls of her feet, holding up her rabbit with enthusiasm. James shooed her from the room before turning back to the books that were spilled out. His left hand still clutched the copy of Alice in Wonderland and he looked at it. For a moment the house seemed eerily quiet and he seemed alone and everything felt as though he had stepped into a wall of ice. He remembered Daniel telling him at work how Elizabeth had been reading this book at least once a week while pregnant. Erin called to him telling him the phone was ringing. James put down the book and went downstairs to the kitchen phone. 

"Hello?" James asked. 

"James, I'm so so so sorry", Daniel Knightly's voice answered on the other line. 

"I've heard that before", James half joked. He was itching to tell his best friend off. 

"Work's been hell. I bought cupcakes a-and presents. I lost track of time-", Daniel breathed heavily as though he'd been running a marathon. "I didn't forgot", his voice was somber and quiet. 

James sighed, running his hand through his hair as he held the phone, "Dan, I'm only cutting you slack because you provide for her and you make an effort but she turned five. She has no friends in school. It was just her and I and--and a pink horse pinata", James waved his hand in gesture, "Erin knows you didn't come. She waited for the mail man for godsakes. Hoping whether or not the mailman would bring you or maybe a birthday card-", he started to raise his voice. 

Daniel rubbed his eyes, "I know. I'm sorry", he was genuinely sorry and felt his throat tighten, "I never ever want to disappoint her. I lost track of time when I sat at my desk. I never stopped thinking about her while I was crunching numbers. I have a few days off. I wanna see her". 

James pursed his lips together, carefully deciding what to say. He could hear Erin upstairs laughing and counting as she played hide and seek with her stuffed animals. He spoke into the phone quietly so to keep his voice even, "You have my permission to see her. She's your daughter but I've been playing both mother and father to her and I love her like she's my own. I have no right to take the full role of parent but Daniel--" 

"I know", was all Daniel said, "If Elizabeth were still alive I know she'd make me sleep on the front lawn", he chuckled. 

"She sure wouldn't let you live it down for missing your daughter's fifth birthday", James commented with the same air of humor, "I should let you know that Erin found her books by the way". 

Daniel felt his heart swell, "Good. If she is truly her mother's daughter she'll be reading them before third grade. Elizabeth was determined, Erin will be too". 

James nodded and agreed, staring at the kitchen floor, "When will we expecting you?" 

"This Friday", Daniel answered, "I'll be around til Wednesday". 

James sighed with relief, "She'll be happy". 

The two hung up after going over a few more things. James just slumped against the wall, face in his hands and rubbing his fingers against his cheeks, massaging them. He'd known Daniel since they were kids and later on Daniel just seemed to become this person who tried to do too much and was late for most things when he didn't mean to be. Elizabeth had been the best thing for him, making him more relaxed and less lost in his work. With her gone, Daniel needed something to keep him from becoming consumed like before. James knew why Daniel kept away but when was he going to stop letting that follow him around? He knew he wanted to provide for Erin and give her a normal life but what kind of normal life was there in Gotham? 

He gave a long sigh and wished for a cigarette. He hadn't smoked since Erin's birth. He'd given up smoking to look after her for his friend. Cigarettes were an addiction and he had been found more than once in the Narrows buying cigarettes for favors, like doing someone's taxes for cartons. James knew he couldn't go back there. He and Daniel hadn't just been business accountants for mob families, no. They'd helped businesses look like saints for banks, they had helped laundry money and help others who were in debt. There were tricks and techniques to these things and none of them were proud moments. 

_"Erin can never know about this",_ Daniel had told him after Elizabeth's funeral, _"She can never know about me or what I do"._

Daniel was just known as 'the man who visits' and that was the story they were selling. James hated looking into those cornflower blue eyes and lying. He hated to think about the day she'd find out and how that would even go. For now, all the five year old little girl knew was that he, James, was a friend of her family's and he was taking care of her. 

It started to rain sometime before dinner that evening. Erin was building a tower with her blocks in the living room, enjoying listening to 'I Can't Wait To Be King' on her tape player. She was singing along under her breath. James was sitting in one of the plush leather chairs reading a magazine article. Something about plants in South America. He was mostly enjoying Erin's company and found himself chuckling at how carefree she was. No cares or worries. Erin seemed to be thinking to herself however. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Erin inquired as she always did. 

"Yes of course", James nodded, putting the magazine in his lap. 

"Well, I looked more at that book that I found earlier and I noticed the girl in the book doesn't have any moms or dad's", Erin talked while taking care not to knock down her tower, "Do you think I'll found a hole like she did?" 

James was taken aback by this and blinked, trying to figure out how to answer her, "Well...Well, Erin, that's not how it works. Um", he tried to think of what to say. 

"But she has lots of friends", Erin continued, "And none of the other kids at school like to play with me-" 

"Erin, that's not true. You'll make friends", James tried to reassure her. 

Erin's tower fell down after it tilted too far to the right. The redhead stared at her progress and calmly picked up the pieces in her hands, "But what if I don't? What if I have to go away like she did? Will you come with me if I do?" She looked at him, confused and curious eyes bright with questions and her mind turning like clockwork. 

James got up and helped her pick up her blocks so she could start again, he put his hands on her shoulders, "It's just a story. You have me and you have Daniel, the nice man who comes to see you. You will make friends, so many friends. If you don't make friends now, you'll make friends over the years. And when you're an adult you'll meet your best friend and you and your best friend will be friends forever and you'll do anything and everything to help them. I promise". He gave her a smile to help reassure her. 

Erin didn't seem convinced but gave him a smile but it seemed less enthusiastic then normal. Her facial expression seemed in thought. James took her hands and tried to comfort her. "What is it?" He asked. 

Erin looked down at the floor as though she was in trouble and looked back at him, "But you won't be coming with me will you?" She asked quietly. 

James pursed his lips in thought, "We talked about what happened to your gold fish. How he got sick and went to sleep", he waited until she silently nodded, "One day, years from now, I'm going to get sick and go to sleep. Just like your fish did. And I want you to promise me you won't try to flush me down the toilet", he tried to bring light and humor to this conversation because he was uncomfortable talking about death to a child. 

Erin laughed, even though she was just laughing because he was, "I promise". 

"Good", James kissed her forehead, "Let's make the biggest tower ever before dinner and forget about this nonsense okay?" 

Erin nodded, filing away this conversation for later, as a young child does when adults don't want to answer their questions. She and James picked up her blocks and started making another tower. James could tell she was thinking and still worried. The rain grew heavier outside and it seemed like Friday would never come.


	2. Chapter 2

Daniel Knightly had never been much of a fan of tea. But here he was standing at the kitchen counter waiting for the kettle to come to a boil, picking up a tea bag from the almost empty box of green jasmine tea. He held the bag in between his fingers, feeling it's textures and how weightless it felt in his hand. Every morning for the past five years Daniel would get up and make a cup of tea in memory of his wife. Elizabeth had loved tea. Sweet tea, iced tea, unsweetened, hot tea. He remembered the first, and only time, she had tried coffee. The way her nose had wrinkled in disgust and she had pushed his cup back towards him and said he could keep it. Tea was more or less something that helps you when you're sick and nothing more, in his mind any way. That's the way he always thought but for the past five years, at least once a day, he'd gotten used to standing at his kitchen counter and stirring honey into his green jasmine tea. The Kettle went off and he carefully poured the hot water into a cup and inserted the tea bag into the cup along with some honey a few seconds later, stirring it in. 

As he stirred his tea, his eyes drifted over the calendar he had on the fridge. He stared at it absent mindedly. _"Erin found her books by the way"_. That sentence repeated over and over again in the back of his head since James had told him earlier in the week. With it he could only imagine the small child sitting down excitedly, looking through them. Her cornflower blue eyes trying to decipher those books like it was a giant code. Just like her mother. Elizabeth had been a history major with a minor in literature and loved old books. Fantasy, fiction, non-fiction, mystery, you name it. She loved the idea of traveling to far away lands while reading about ancient Egypt or Tom Sawyer or about the old west. Daniel, having majored in Economics with a minor in Calculus, had humored her lively imagination. He played it like a game, every Christmas or birthday, he'd try to find a book or a book of short stories Elizabeth hadn't already read. She'd always shake her head at him for it. Now, presently, he felt stupid and guilty. Maybe if he believed in Neverland or Nancy Drew or even the Voyages of Simbad, maybe Elizabeth would still be alive. 

Daniel stared away from the calendar down at his tea, watching the steam roll off of it. He picked it up to sip it and felt the hot sting against his tongue but he ignored it and continued until his mouth got used to it. Not even this cup of tea could save him from the guilt that burdened him further. He'd let Elizabeth die and her death was in vain because, while in labor, she asked him to look after their baby. And he'd agreed, not knowing what was about to happen. As Erin had taken her first breath, Elizabeth took her last. Mother and child never got to see each other and the doctor told him that his wife had died due to health complications worsened in pregnancy. Daniel had said that wasn't true, all of their appointments had been fine. Their doctor took him aside and quietly told him what had happened and that he was sorry. Daniel didn't remember anything after that except when James arrived to see them, Daniel muttered something about the baby being in the hospital's  nursery and walked out. He'd walked around the building maybe twice before James found him again. Daniel had broken down crying in the grass, laying in the fetal position outside of the entry door and begging god to bring Elizabeth back. 

_"I can't do this! I can't do this!"_ is what he remembered saying, everything else had been incoherent. 

He'd made her a solid promise and he'd failed on that promise. Sure he'd lived with James and Erin for the first six months but as he started to see his daughter look more and more like her mother, he couldn't deal with it. Not yet. It hurt his heart too much and it seemed like every time he held her, she'd cry. It was only when James took her that Erin quieted and was content. Daniel would cry alone in his room, wondering why his daughter cried when he held her. Did she know? Did she hate him too? At the time that's what he thought but after deciding to leave her with James, it seemed that wasn't so. As the visits progressed, Erin warmed up to him but he was a stranger to her, a _'friend'_ of James was what she knew him as and Daniel had thought things were better this way. Until about two years ago. 

Up until about two years ago things seemed rather smooth sailing and he thought maybe of retiring, going home to James and his daughter and living with them and being able to raise Erin, as he'd promised his wife. But sadly, the world seemed to have other ideas on the matter. Back in the day, Daniel and James had both been partners in accounting and business type ventures, helping mob families and friends of the mob's with finances and the like. After Erin's birth, Daniel, against James's wishes, went solo and got himself a studio apartment in the Narrows and worked freelance. One of Gotham's biggest mob families, the Falcone's, had gotten his name through probably a few friends or people who worked for them. Surely enough Don Falcone had approached him personally for a few favors and because Falcone was a family man, he promised safety to Erin and James if Daniel worked for him and helped keep books and records clean. Retirement was not an option anymore and Daniel felt dread run down the back of his neck every time he stepped out of his apartment. The thing was, Falcone only wanted Daniel if Daniel would stop doing business with others in Gotham. Such as Boxy Bennett, Sal Maroni, and a few others under him who were nothing but chicken feed. 

Daniel had yet to tell this to James however. James and Erin had it simple and didn't need him bringing down every mob or gun man in Gotham onto their heads. He knew James would never let him near Erin again if he said anything either. It was part of their agreement after all. James had guardian custody that included being a guardian father and he was allowed to tell Daniel or not if he could see Erin due to his business dealings. James would be able to figure it out in seconds though and he knew a few 'I'm sorry's' wasn't going to cut it either. He set down the cup of tea and rubbed the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and thinking to himself. He didn't want Erin spending the rest of her life wondering why she didn't have parents and he did genuinely deeply regret not caring for her like he'd promised but he had to provide for her. It was silly to really think of that way since she was living in the house he and Elizabeth had bought together and their families had come from upper middle class money. So he and Elizabeth had essentially left Erin a fortune of her own. But that didn't seem like enough and he wanted to be able to keep it growing in interest for when she was an adult. 

After several minutes of over thinking and making himself feel more like a failure, his tea had started to grow cold and he put it in the microwave to reheat it. He knew his wife's ghost would come back to haunt him if he dumped it into the sink. He had done it once when they were first dating, when she'd make him try a cup, and she had smacked him, even playfully, with a dishtowel.  Scolding him about wasting good tea, her hands on her hips. Her family had been Irish-American descent so her flaming red dark curls were something to behold when she got like that. He'd always smile and tease her, try to provoke her some more. But he loved her and she loved him and he wished he hadn't dismissed her love for books or the idea that those worlds existed, even if only to her. He remembered clear as day her reading _Alice In Wonderland_ to their unborn daughter and he remembered Elizabeth always writing in her journals. 

Daniel had heard the microwave beep but he seemed to have tuned it out at the same time as he spaced out, his eyes watering slightly. His body seemed to go numb and he staggered backwards slowly, reaching around for the kitchen chair, fumbling his fingers until he grasped it and sat down. He put his head in his hands, silently crying. Letting the tears roll down his face. Memories flashed over and over again. Today was Friday, the day he promised he'd come see Erin as he'd missed her initial birthday and knew today was the day he'd need to own up to everything. He needed his daughter to know that she was, and is, very much loved and not something he meant to push aside. He meant to take care of her as promised but at the time, running away seemed much simpler, even if it was wrong. He had to make up for it, he owed her that much. Not the whole truth though, just enough to know if Erin would accept his apology. She was a sweet child after all, maybe god would grant him this mercy. Let her forgive him. 

"I don't deserve her forgiveness", He muttered to himself, sniffling and wiping his eyes with his hand. Moving to get up and get the cup of tea that was in the microwave. He learned his lesson the first time and blew across the top of the cup before sipping. 

James had almost regretted telling Erin that Daniel was coming. He was busy trying to tidy up the living room as much possible and every time he'd turn around, she was by the window, peeking around the curtain. At first he chuckled as she bounced happily and kept going from sitting on the couch watching her cartoons and going back to the window but the game grew old by mid-day. Erin hadn't left the window in about three hours or so. James could checking his watch. They hadn't actually agreed to a time because it wouldn't make a bit of difference. Erin had taken one of her pink plastic chairs and set it by the window, every little noise she'd pull the curtain back. Her guardian exercised restraint from picking up the phone however. James had tried to prepare lunch and do other little tasks and after what seemed like forty five minutes, he seized the phone and started dialing. As soon as the dial tone picked up, the door bell rang. 

"About time", James sighed in relief. 

"I'll get it!" Erin all but tripped over her own feet running into the entry way and getting the door, James at her heels. 

Erin pulled the door open and smiled happily up at the man in the doorway. Daniel had a bag in his hand of carefully wrapped gifts. He set them down and bent down to her level, opening his arms for a hug. Erin ran forward and hugged him. In one motion, Daniel stood up, holding her in his arms. Daniel gave an apologetic smile to his best friend and James gave him a smile back but he knew it was just for Erin's sake. After getting a very long hug from her, Daniel set Erin down and she preoccupied herself with snooping around the bag of gifts. 

"Lunch is almost ready, Erin. Why don't you go wash up and get Mr. Ears", James distracted her. 

"Okay!" Erin smiled brightly and hightailed it upstairs. 

Daniel took off his jacket and hung it up, taking the gifts and setting them on the couch in the living room. He turned to his best friend with an apologetic gesture.   

"I didn't come just to see her", Daniel commented. 

"I was afraid of that", James half joked, folding his arms across his chest, "What's it this time? How long will you be gone?" 

Daniel gestured with his arms, "You're not going to like what I have to say. You were always the one who knew what he was getting into. And I always jumped right in until it was too late. But you always pulled me back even when you were at your lowest". 

"Whatever it is, I'll take your place. You were meant to be here. Folding laundry, watching Barney, making grilled cheese sandwiches, picking her up from school, playing Ballerina. Bathes. Bed time stories", James waved his hand, "Last Christmas you didn't have to pretend to send a letter to Santa asking him to give her a mom. So tell me what you got into this time, Daniel". 

Daniel sighed, "Two years ago I was approached by Don Falcone and I stopped doing business with other people in Gotham and I was promised that you and Erin would be safe if I worked for him and kept his books clean-" 

"Are you out of your mind?" Jame quietly interrupted. 

"I told you you wouldn't like what I had to say-" Daniel began. 

"I can't let you do this. I should be the one sweating it out in Gotham's underground and you should be here raising your daughter. She waited for you, by that window and she barely knows who you are. She needs you-" James's was cut off again. 

"She needs you", Daniel told him, "I'm here to tell her the truth. Not all of it, she'll know about that when she's older. But I want to tell her about me and Elizabeth. I want to know that when I walk out that door that she loves me and that she forgives me". 

James got in his face, "She's just a child, Daniel. She grasps the concept of right and wrong. She doesn't know how to hate or be angry because she's never had to know about abandonment or how she got left with her father's best friend. I'm 'Uncle James' and that's all she knows and that's all I've ever had to tell her. Elizabeth trusted you with her and you walked out. I stayed. You left and I stayed". 

Daniel pursed his lips together and stared sadly at his only friend, he had a point. But the silence was broken by the sounds of feet on the stairs and Erin coming down humming to herself and carrying her stuffed white rabbit. She took the stairs one at a time as to not fall down them. The five year old beamed up at them and there were forced smiles as the two men looked at her. There was a silent agreement to let the argument go, for now. Erin seemed content to prattle on during lunch about what they made in art at school and showed Daniel her finger paint pictures. 

"This is a butterfly and this is a snail", Erin replied, fits of giggles following. 

Daniel smiled and looked at James, trying to catch his eye but James wouldn't look at him. He figured this would happen but he had also hoped his friend would understand, at the very least give him a chance to explain himself. But James had every right to be angry at the same time. After lunch was cleaned up, they moved into the living room. James had made Erin chocolate cupcakes with pink frosting. Daniel and James just sat with coffee while Erin sat on the floor at the coffee table, eating one of the cupcakes with a glass of milk. 

"Are you going to sleep over like last time?" Erin asked, her face covered in frosting and specks of chocolate. 

"No I don't think so", Daniel smiled at her gently, "But if it's alright with James, I'll stay for dinner". 

"Can he James?" Her blue eyes fell on James, batting her eyes. 

She was only five years old but she was good at pulling at heartstrings. James smiled, agreeing to it. Once he saw that she was finished, he went to get up but Daniel got up. "I'll get it", He said, moving towards her. He took the napkin from the table, bending down and gently wiping her mouth and fingers. "You are very messy", he chuckled, ruffling her hair. 

Erin giggled with a bright smile. He saw that she had a couple of teeth missing. Ah! He was missing all the action. Her baby teeth were falling out. He moved to take care of her empty plate, leaving the cup of milk to finish. James took the empty cups of coffee into the kitchen as Erin finished her milk and brought it to the sink. Daniel watched her lean up on her tipy toes and put in the sink gently. They returned to the living room where Erin climbed up onto Daniel's lap and sat patiently for her presents. 

"Sorry these are late nibblet, but I hope you like them", Daniel said to her. 

"Thank you", she answered as he handed her the first one. 

Unlike other children, Erin was dainty with opening the paper, as though afraid she might rip what was inside. The first gift was a pink hooded sweatshirt with purple and white unicorn on it. The unicorn's mane and tail were soft like felt. And a pair of jeans with rainbows on the pockets. Erin happily hugged them. 

"How did you know?!" Erin asked with a deep breath and stared at him with awe and wonder. 

"Oh you know...a little bird told me", Daniel humored her. 

The second present was a kid's baking kit and the third was a tea party play set. Erin excitedly opened these and set them up on the coffee table. James left the room with the empty cardboard boxes. Daniel took this moment to sit down next to Erin while set up the plastic tea cups and saucers, pretending to drink out of each one of them. He put his hand on her back and rubbed her back a little to get her attention. Erin looked at him out of curiosity. 

"Hey nibblet, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked quietly. 

"Of course. What's wrong?" Erin wanted to know. 

"Nothing's wrong", Daniel smiled, though to show he was okay, but she seemed to pick up on this and took his hand in both her small ones, "I need to tell you something very import okay?" 

Erin nodded, letting him know he could proceed. 

Daniel picked her up and set her on his leg, "I thought I'd be able to keep this a secret for years until you're older but I decided it was better to tell the truth. You know the truth is important right?" She gave a nod and he continued, "I don't want there to be any lies between us. So I decided that I need to tell you about your mom and I. Your uncle James and I have been best friends for years and he helped introduce your mom to me. He's a nice man and you know that first hand", he paused, watching her face, "I'm not just James's friend who comes around often. I'm--I'm your dad", his throat got tight but he felt her give his hand a squeeze. "Erin--I'm--I'm so so sorry", his voice cracked, tears welling up in his eyes again. 

"Your--Your my daddy?" Erin asked quietly. 

Just hearing the word _'daddy'_ coming out of her mouth made him cry even more. He suddenly felt very ashamed and guilty. Why had he not raised her like he promised? Why had he let grief and anger and doubt consume him? This little girl was sitting in his lap looking at him curiously and confused at the same time. Daniel looked at her after pulling himself together. He took a minute to take a deep breath. 

"Y--yes. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you like I did. Erin you need to know-" but he was cut off. 

Erin's lower lip quivered, "T--then....then where's--", her eyes watered, "Then where's mommy? How come mommy's not with you?" her cornflower blue eyes weld up. Her cheeks turning pink. 

Daniel looked at the floor as she started to sniffle, "E--Erin--I", he took a few more deep breathes. He couldn't be a wreck when she was. He had to be calm, "Erin, your mommy loves you so much", he took a second to think, "James told me about your goldfish. Well, mommy is with your goldfish. She got sick and went to sleep but she loves you and if I could bring her back, I would-" 

This was deemed too much however as Erin promptly stood up and stumbled slightly getting up and backing away from him, her face streaming with tears, "M--mommy....mommy's never coming back?" She cried, breaking down completely. 

"Erin, n--no, no", Daniel got onto his knees, reaching out for her, "Erin, sweetheart-" 

Erin fell onto the carpet and sobbed into the floor. Daniel pulled up himself up and steadily put his arm around her, carefully rubbing her back. He tried picking her up but she cried harder and didn't want to be touched. James came into the room after a few minutes, walking towards them. He bent down and reached for the crying child, Erin reached up for James and he picked her up. Erin buried her face into his shoulder. James rubbed her back, quietly soothing her. Daniel got to his feet. 

"James, I didn't mean to--" Daniel tried to explain. 

James waved his hand, grabbing the stuffed white rabbit off the couch and taking Erin upstairs. Daniel stood in silence, listening to Erin's cries from upstairs. Her cries turned to sniffles and after a while there was soft music, like lullaby's. A door closed and James came down stairs again. He said nothing to Daniel as he started cleaning up the coffee table and taking the baking kit into the kitchen. Daniel went to the plush leather chair and sunk down into it, staring at the floor. 

"I don't really know what you were expecting", James came back into the living room and sat down in the opposite chair, "She's five years old, Daniel. You can't just TELL her these things. Every Christmas, she writes a letter to Santa asking her to bring her a mom and dad because the other kids at school have one or the other or both. I've tried to explain not everyone has mom's and dad's. She wants a family, Daniel". 

"I didn't meant to upset her", Daniel gestured with his hands, "I guess I thought maybe she'd take it better-" 

James thumped the arms of the chair with his hands, "She's not Elizabeth, okay? She's not. She's her own person with her own personality. Yes, sometimes she has some expressive moments or does or says something similarly just like her, but that's it. Yeah when she found the books in your old bedroom closet I thought I was seeing Elizabeth again but it was only for a second", his voice got calm and quiet, "Daniel, I'm sorry-" 

"No, no, it's fine. I needed to hear it", Daniel shook his head, "Agh. Just...I just wanted her to know it was me. That I was her dad". 

James leaned over and put his hand firmly on his shoulder, "She knows you care about her. And I'm proud of you for trying to be honest with her. She's just...she's just a bit sensitive. I found that I had to be careful explaining certain things to her", he paused, "I think you should take her and leave Gotham. This city will tear her up and spit her out". 

Daniel shook his head in disagreement, "I can't. She'll be okay with you, I trust you". 

"She doesn't stand a chance-" Jame started to argue. 

"She will with you taking care of her. That's why I'm here James. I made a deal with Falcone and I don't know who is spying on me or following me since I started to work for him. I've made plenty of enemies leaving my other clients. You and Erin are safe, Falcone offered his protection-" 

James stood up and pushed Daniel back into the chair, despite the fact Daniel was 165 lbs and James was about 140 lbs. "Falcone?!" he lowered his voice, listening for any stirrings from upstairs, "Are you out of your mind? I worked for Falcone while you and Elizabeth were planning your wedding. I was lucky to be alive after Maroni's men shot up our base of operations!" 

Daniel sat up and stayed calm as he stared up at his friend, "Remember our time with Boxy? When we were on our knees by the docks because he thought we were stealing his money?! Remember how you got hooked on smoking in the narrows after your break down?! I almost lost Elizabeth's engagement ring! So it was either Don Falcone or hoping I'm not stabbed by some drug lord who didn't like that his money came back uneven after I cooked his books!" 

James stepped back, putting his hands up over his mouth thinking. He took a long inhale and then an exhale. They were both quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "You're free to stay for dinner but then I want you gone". 

"James-" Daniel tried to reason. 

"No. Daniel, I'm sorry. I've put up with a lot from you. Being late, the staying away, the excuses. I understand that job, trust me. But I'm your raising YOUR daughter. My best friend's daughter. You and Elizabeth were both my best friends and she's not here! And apparently neither are you. And if you can't be here, then be far away where you can't hurt her. I'm not dying for your mistakes. You decided to let me raise Erin. You decided to walk away", James stated, "It's your decision to leave or stay". 

Daniel said nothing. He couldn't bring himself to. 

Both of them were still fuming by dinner time. By this time, Erin had calmed down and was in a sleepy state after waking up. She just sat in her seat at the table, hugging her stuffed rabbit. She ate her dinner, not looking either adult. Daniel wanted desperately for her to look at him but she became shy and quiet. James even tried to engage her in conversation but she seemed distant and hesitant to talk. Daniel knew then he couldn't stay. He had done this. The happy little girl wasn't even responding to either of them, wasn't happily offering her stuffed animal food or even kicking her legs happily. Erin asked to be excused and James nodded. Erin took her stuffed rabbit and her milk cup into the living room. They looked at each other and Daniel could feel the stinging silence between them. 

"I'm--I'm going to say good-bye to her", Daniel muttered, "Thank you for the meal". 

"Your welcome", James muttered back, cleaning up. 

Daniel grabbed his coat and went into the living room. As he buttoned his coat, he saw her setting up the tea set again. Her stuffed rabbit sat at one end of the coffee table. He smiled, watching her innocently play. Memories of her running up to him at Christmas's, birthday's, weekend's when he stopped by washed over him. He remembered sitting in this living room when she was first starting to crawl, first starting to walk. She didn't know the truth. She only knew safety and comfort. Erin looking at him brought him out of his thoughts. 

"Daddy, are you leaving?" Erin asked him. 

"Yeah. I have to go", Daniel told her gently. 

She stood up, carrying the plastic teal tea cup with her, "Is--is it because of me? Because I got upset?" 

Daniel knelt down and put his hands on her shoulders, "No", he smiled wearily, "I'm leaving so you'll be safe". 

"And James too right? James will be safe", not skipping a beat, "Are you and James still friends?" Erin wanted to know. 

"James too and don't worry too much. He and I had a fight but yeah, we're still friends", Daniel didn't want to upset her again, so he had to be reassuring. 

Erin smiled at him and then went forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him, "Please come back soon daddy. James and I are lonely and we need you". 

Daniel felt his throat get heavy again, hearing her speak, "Don't worry nibblet. I'll be back". He hugged her back. His eyes started to water as he felt a soft kiss to his cheek and then Erin pulled away. He stood up after a second or so. 

"Drink lots of tea okay?" Erin held up her cup happily at him. 

Daniel smiled at her, "You bet". 

He opened the front door and waved back at her and she waved to him. Everything was in slow motion now as he shut the door and stood on the porch. The motion light came on after a second. Daniel could see through the little bit of the curtain into the living room and watched as Erin bounced happily towards her tea set and began pretend pouring drinks into the plastic cups using the plastic kettle. Daniel smiled sadly before turning and walking towards the gate and to his car. 

Inside James watched Daniel walk to his car before going into the living room. He sat down, watching Erin ask her bunny if he had any friends he wanted to invite to her tea party. She dashed off to the kitchen and brought back some stuffed animals that had recently been sitting at the easy bake oven. Erin turned to James once she had her stuffed friends at the coffee table. 

"Daddy said he was going to come back. He will, won't he?" She inquired. 

"We'll see", was all James could bring himself to say. And this answer seemed good enough for her as she turned back to her make believe game. James could feel his heart weigh heavily after his fight with his friend but he couldn't allow anything to happen to Erin. He'd let Daniel get away with this for too long and it had to stop. If Daniel came back, he came back and if he didn't....well....that was his choice.


	3. Chapter 3

_I need to tell you about a girl I knew back in elementary school. She was my best friend. She was going to be a scientist. She was gonna go to space. We were gonna travel, see the world. We were going to leave Gotham. Escape. We were going to run away and get married. Friends could do that right? Get married? We were just kids. We thought getting married meant living together, staying up and watching movies, eat all the junk food we could until we got sick. Decorate everything for both Halloween and Christmas because why not have both? We made a pinky promise. Best friends. Forever. And when you're sitting under a tent you made out of blankets, listening to the storm outside howl for hours and you're too scared to go to sleep, the best feeling in the world is knowing that the person sitting across from you will never ever leave...._

_It's time I told you about Mave. Mave Liang...._

Elementary school seemed big, too big. It was like this place swallowed up all the children and kept them here for an uncertain amount of hours. Erin was small for her age, height wise that was. Despite this set back, she had no qualms about doing things herself, even reaching for items on high shelves. And being in this new school was no different. She held her head high as she navigated her way to class every day after James dropped her off. She took off her coat in a dainty way, hanging it up in her cubby, along with her backpack. She kept her desk neat and tidy and sat on the edge of her seat, leaning forwards as the teacher spoke. She had a desk up at the front of the class and normally any other child would be terrified of being called on or intimidated but Erin sat with her attention peaked. The redhead thirsted for knowledge like nothing else. She wanted to learn to read and to write and thought being a teacher would be a good goal to keep in mind. 

_"I'd be good at teaching kids, I think",_ Erin thought to herself as she did her best to copy the cursive lines on her paper. She liked writing her name in cursive after having been in school for about five weeks now. _"I could teach them how to create their own stories or build something"_ , her thoughts continued. 

"Well done, Erin. I also like how you do your 'I's' and 'E's'", the teacher replied kindly, stopping by her desk. 

"Thank you Ms. Watson", Erin smiled. 

Behind her, the other kids mocked the teacher's comments and Erin could see the other kids looking at her as she glanced at the movement in the corner of her eye. She ignored the face making some of the girls did at her and returned to the paper in front of her. When the bell rang for lunch, Erin was pushed aside by the other children but Erin did become upset and apologized for thinking she'd walked into them. As she reached her cubby, she took out her lunch box and set it down so she could re-zip her backpack. One girl kicked her lunch box across the floor and her friends snickered as a boy unzipped the lunch box. As Erin turned to retrieve her lunch, she picked it up only for all the contents to fall out onto the floor. Luckily everything was in packages or sealed. Erin blushed furiously and hurried to put everything away and follow her classmates to lunch. 

"Are you okay?" Ms. Watson asked before she allowed Erin to leave. 

"I know what they did wasn't nice but I'm okay", Erin told the teacher and grabbed her coat before heading to lunch. 

Erin smiled as she walked into the cafeteria a few moments later and looked for a seat. The cafeteria was loud and there were sections for each age group. Erin set off to find a seat among the first graders but nobody seemed willing to let her sit with them. The kids from her class all set their lunch packs down next to them to keep her from sitting in any empty chairs. Eventually a couple of third grade girls patted a seat for Erin to sit at their table but nobody really talked to her. Erin just munched on a her peanut butter banana and grape jelly sandwich and drank her pink lemonade juice box in silence. She looked around the cafeteria and at the sea of heads and everyone looked almost identical save for a few light yellow hair and dark yellow haired children thrown in. She was curious about all of these children and wondered if they had parents too or if they were raised by someone like James. After lunch and returning her lunch box to her backpack, she and all of the other children went outside to recess. 

Recess wasn't especially interesting as nobody had ever asked her to play with them. Erin generally made up games or went to the swings until recess was over. She wasn't particularly fond of the slide or the monkey bars or climbing anything for that matter. The swings made her feel like she was flying through the sky. As she walked over to the swings, she found they weren't vacant. There was another girl, who looked to be her age, sitting on the very end swing. The girl had a very thin looking sweat shirt that fell around her knees. She had short black hair and milky white looking skin. Erin smiled and her heart swelled, _"Today is the day I make a friend!_ She thought happily, getting excited. She ventured over almost at once to introduce herself. The girl on the swings sat with her head bowed and hands in her lap. Erin stopped in front of her. 

"Hi, my name's Erin, what's yours?" Erin asked. 

The girl said nothing for a few minutes before glancing upwards. She had dark brown eyes and dark eyebrows. Her eyes had light red circles like she'd been crying and her nose looked a bit wet and red as well as though she had been rubbing it with her hand to keep it from running. "M-Mave", she said quietly. 

"Mave, that's a pretty name", Erin smiled, "Would you like to swing with me?" 

Mave looked at her as though wondering if this was a trick or if she was just taking pity on her. Sometimes the other kids would do that and play with her because the teachers told her to. "W-why do you wanna play with me? None of the other kids want to because I'm different. Did the teachers ask you to?" She reached up tentatively to touch her shoulder as though checking on it and then hugged her arms around herself. 

"No I wanted to come over and introduce myself", Erin smiled still, "And we're not different, we look exactly the same", she beamed joyously. 

"How?" Mave wanted to know. 

"Wellll", Erin pulled at her shirt, "I'm wearing a shirt and you're a shirt. I'm wearing pants and you're wearing pants. And we're both wearing shoes. And-", she paused and put her hand next to Mave's, "See? We both have skin". 

"Our skin is different", Mave told her quietly. 

"So? Just because they're different colors doesn't mean anything. Yellow and Blue live in the same crayon box don't they", Erin stated. 

"I guess", Mave found herself smiling for the first time in a while, she'd lost count since the last time she felt happy. Even at the age of seven, it seemed like a long time ago. "So---so we can be friends?" she asked shyly. 

Erin had seen other kids do it before so she put out her pinky finger and Mave stared at her confused. Erin was excited to teach her something new, "It's a pinky. We can pinky promise to be friends forever". 

"How do you know we'll be friends forever?" Mave asked. 

"If we make the promise, it won't ever break. It's gotta stay that way forever. I think it's like magic or something. I've seen the other kids do it", Erin replied. 

Mave slowly rose from her seat and stared at the redhead and down at her hand. She slowly lifted her hand and locked her finger with the other girl's. This whole thing seemed foreign and odd to her, nothing like this had ever happened before and it almost seemed too good to be real, for both of them. 

"So--so we're friends now?" Mave asked with a hopeful smile. 

"Uh-huh", Erin gave her a toothy grin and nodded, "We can have sleep overs and play board games and color and play together and--" 

Mave looked away rather sadly, "I--I don't think you can visit me", her voice was quiet. Erin gave her a confused look with raised eyebrows, "I don't have a lot of food and I don't think my dad would want you to come over-" 

"Why not? I'm really well behaved-", Erin started to say. 

Mave looked deeply uncomfortable and rubbed her arms, "It's not--not that. It's---I'm not supposed to talk about it, I'm sorry", she backed away from her and slowly started to walk away. She looked sad again and looked down at the ground. 

Erin didn't understand. Did that mean they couldn't be friends? She watched Mave walk away and go up to the teacher and then go inside the school. Erin sat down on the swings and stared at the ground. "Was it something I said?" She asked herself quietly. 

The odd meeting on the playground didn't deter her from wanting to be friends with Mave. She couldn't stop thinking about the girl and what she'd said. Why didn't Mave have any food? Erin couldn't stop getting that sentence out of her head and asked James to pack her extra snacks for school and after arriving, she stood in the school yard looking for Mave but didn't see her. Erin went inside and explored a bit to try and look for her. Erin's teacher, Ms. Watson, was kind enough to lead Erin to the second classroom for first graders and found Mave sitting at her desk. 

"She comes in early", the other teacher told her quietly. 

Erin approached Mave's desk carefully and the other girl looked surprised at seeing her. Erin took out her lunch box and started taking out food. Mave stared at her as she put cheese and crackers, two different types of mini cookies, a couple of juice boxes and slices of apples on her desk. Even the teachers were watching with interest and surprise. 

"What is all of this?" Mave asked. 

"It's food for you. I have cupboards full at home and asked James to give me extra so I could share with you", Erin beamed proudly. 

Mave's face became very bright and she smiled awkwardly, "Thank you Erin", before putting her face in her hands. She started to cry. 

"Do you not like it?" Erin wanted to know. 

Mave shook her head, "This is the nicest anyone's ever been to me", she told her. 

Erin walked up to Ms. Watson and the other teacher and looked up at them with a pleading look, "Can Mave please come visit our class today?" 

"I don't see why not? Anita, do you mind?" Ms. Watson asked her colleague. 

"It's fine with me. We can do a big class project for Thanksgiving this year and the girls can work together", the other woman smiled with a nod. 

Erin danced on the balls of her feet and skipped back over to her friend, excitingly telling her they could see each other later. Mave seemed overwhelmed by her new friend's enthusiasm but smiled nonetheless. After warming up to Erin for a few minutes, Mave felt bold enough to take her hand and walking her around the class room and showing her all the posters and books and games. The girls found a can of pick up sticks and sat in the corner in the reading nook, giggling as they played the game of trying to pick up the plastic sticks without moving any of them. Erin kept noticing that Mave seemed uncomfortable in certain positions when she reached out to pick up a colored stick or to sit back on her knees. 

"Did you get hurt?" Erin wanted to know. 

"I fell", was all Mave said. 

Erin moved closer to her, worry spreading on her face. Mave looked away as though ashamed and Erin thought back to the day before when Mave told her she wasn't supposed to talk about _it_. Her cornflower blue eyes became full of concern and sadness and put her hand on Mave's shoulder, which caused the other girl to flinch a bit but not push her away. "Show me where it hurts", Erin quietly said. 

Mave couldn't take off her shirt in school but she rolled up the sleeve of her shirt to show bruises all up and down her arm. Erin flinched as though someone had squashed a bug. She'd skinned her knees or bumped herself before but nothing bad like what she was seeing. 

"You didn't fall did you?" Erin finally stated in a quiet voice. 

Her friend seemed to freeze as though Erin had cracked some code that she didn't know about, staring at her as though the redhead had unearthed some black magic of deduction. After a few seconds, she looked around, as though afraid of someone listening, before moving towards Erin and cupped her mouth against her ear. "You gotta promise not to tell", she waited for her to nod and then continued, "I'll tell you at recess". 

Erin nodded again and then reached out and took Mave's hand, "It'll be okay Mave", she gave her a smile. 

Despite the fact Erin did get to see Mave throughout the day, as promised, she couldn't help but feel sad. Mave was such a nice girl and they shared snacks, did writing together, tried to attempt to read some of the more longer books in the classroom, worked on a puzzle together, tried very hard to learn the Spanish numeral system. She felt sad because she wanted to see Mave always and got sad whenever Mave had to return to her own classroom. However the girls found each other for lunch and Erin learned Mave didn't eat in the cafeteria with the other children due to the fact she never brought any food from home and was too shy to ask for her free hot meal. Mave and Erin sat in the reading chair just inside the doors of the library, sharing Erin's lunch and the snacks she'd brought. Giggling and trying to recite the Spanish counting system and getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths. 

When recess came, the girls went to the swings as they had the day prior. Erin looked at Mave and asked her to tell her the secret she was going to whisper earlier that morning. Mave looked hesitant but then ushered Erin towards a corner of the building where nobody could see them. As before Mave leaned in and whispered in her ear. 

"My papa gets mad at me and hurts me. He comes home and smells of rotten eggs and pickles. Mama gets hit too", Mave rolled up her sleeve again, "I got this just because I didn't shut the door all the way this morning", she pushed her sleeve back down in a hurry and stared at the ground again, "You can't come over because I live in a bad neighborhood. It's very poor and bad men live there. I sometimes run away to my grandma's in Chinatown but sometimes I can't get across town", she mumbled a few other things but Erin couldn't hear them. 

Erin stood there in silence. Mave was the same age as her and Mave herself was smaller then her, weight wise. She was at a loss for words and unable to say anything. Mave just looked down at the ground and gripped her own arm, shuffling her feet. Erin really couldn't believe it, how could an adult hurt a child for not closing the door? The idea was unfathomable to her. She wondered if there were really bad adults in the world and this caused her to wonder if there were bad people. The kids here at school were mean sometimes but did that mean they'd grow up to be mean? Would they learn to be nice? Maybe she could teach them to be nice to others. 

"You can come to my house", Erin finally stated after a minute or so. 

"What-?" Mave blinked, looking at her through her bangs. 

"You can come to my house. You don't have to go back to your papa, ever. You can live with me like when you go to your grandma's", Erin was confident in this plan. Surely James wouldn't mind. 

"I don't know....won't your mama and papa be mad?" Mave asked, looking anxious. 

"I don't have a mama or a papa. My mama got sick and went to sleep. And my papa, he", Erin stared down at the ground, feeling soul crushed. Daniel, the man she found out who was her dad a few years ago, had long disappeared and never came back like he promised. "My papa went away", she finished the thought but then smiled, "But I live with James and he's really nice and will let us watch movies and eat food and you can sleep in my room", she prattled happily. 

Mave seemed lost for words herself. It was like someone had asked her to live in Disneyland or something special like that. Her grandmother couldn't take her in often and she was scared to go home. Sometimes her mama left her behind for days anyway. Mave accepted the invitation to live with Erin. Erin smiled happily and then took out something from her coat pocket. 

"What's that?" Mave asked. 

"I made it last night at home. It's a friendship bracelet", Erin explained, holding it up. 

It was pink with yellow and light blue shapes with pink lettering. Erin put it on Mave's wrist and pulled the draw strings a bit so it wouldn't fall off. 

"You don't have to be afraid or alone anymore", Erin told her as Mave smiled at the bracelet. She smiled and hugged her, feeling Mave hug her back after a few seconds. 

James was used to Erin taking the bus home so he could errands and grocery shopping. Generally he was home five minutes after she was dropped off because the bus ride for the younger children wasn't that long. But today he was running a few minutes behind. He had told Erin where the house key was just in case he wasn't home in time to unlock the door for her. As he came through the door he found the living room had turned into a fort and most of Erin's blankets and pillows from upstairs had been brought down. James didn't think anything of it and went into the kitchen. 

"Erin-", he went to call before stopping in his tracks. 

He'd been expecting to find Erin playing 'baker' in the kitchen. Maybe trying to make him a snack, something she generally did to surprise him. But what he wasn't expecting was to find a Chinese-American seven year old girl sitting at the kitchen table eating a messily made sandwich. The kitchen looked as though it'd been ransacked by small children as his eyes moved over the open lower cupboards and back to the child again. 

Mave and James stared at each other as Erin came around the corner of the doorway, holding up her hands. James looked at her wordlessly and carefully set the bags of groceries on the floor. He opened and closed his mouth over and over again. Looking between the dark haired girl and his ward. 

"James this my friend, Mave", Erin looked up at her guardian pleadingly, "Can she please live with us? Please?" She begged, "Don't send her home James, it's not safe. There are bad men there. Please say she can stay". 

James felt Erin tugging on his jacket as he looked at Mave again. She looked scared and hungry and tired. There was something about her he'd seen before years ago in the Narrows. Children like her usually didn't survive in Gotham. James gave her a smile, thinking quickly. 

"Hi Mave. I'm James. It's alright", James spoke gently. 

"Hi James", Mave quietly spoke and smiled shyly. 

Erin was still tugging on his arm and he could hear her but it was like the world had muted somehow at the same time. He wasn't sure if he was ready to be put in this type of situation and he never thought he would be if he was being honest. But of course Erin had to be friend a girl who needed more help than he or Erin could give but for Erin's sake, he'd definitely try to help as much as he could because he knew Erin would. 

"Mave, will you please excuse us for a minute. I need to speak with Erin privately", James found himself saying as he took Erin into the living room and into an office towards the back of the house.James knelt down to Erin's level and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not angry or upset, okay. Just tell me what you mean, what bad men?" 

Erin took a deep breath, "Mave's daddy hits her. He's a bully. He pushes her and makes her cry. Adults aren't supposed to be bullies. Daddy's and mommy's are supposed to take care of their kids. Mave sometimes has to go stay with her grandma but she can't always go. And Mave lives in a bad place in town and sometimes her mommy doesn't always come home and her dad makes her mom cry too. It's not right. Adults hurting kids and each other is not nice, James", her tone was matter of fact. 

James sighed as he rubbed his face, "Erin, Mave can't just live with us. I can promise she can sleep over until I get in touch with her parents or her grandmother but-" 

Erin sighed, "I told Mave she could live with us because it's safe. And safe means she can have food and a bed. I share my snacks and stuff with her at school because she doesn't have food at home". 

James stood up and tried to think about what to do. Erin was smart for her age and too smart for her own good at that. "I'm going to have to tell other adults so they can help us", he said to her. 

Erin shuffled from foot to foot, "Do--do you think the other adults will be able to help?" 

James couldn't promise her this process would be fast but he sighed, putting his hands on her shoulders, "I want you to take Mave upstairs while I make phone calls", was all he said. 

Erin nodded and left the room to go get her friend. Erin grabbed a few sandwiches and a bag of chips and led Mave up to her room to play. Once in her room, Mave looked around at the toys and books and the dress up box in the corner. Erin set up her plastic table and chairs and set the food on it. 

"What did James say?" Mave asked her. 

"He's going to call people to help you", Erin explained. 

Mave looked shocked and rather terrified, "But my papa will be angry and hit me again!" She covered her mouth with her hands. 

Erin put her hands on Mave's arms, "Nobody will be hitting anyone ever again. Bullies are bad. Adults who are bullies, kids who are bullies, they need to know they can't hit or hurt people. James is going to help us, I promise". 

Mave slowly brought her hands down, shaking slightly still, "B-but how?" 

"I'm sure he has a plan", Erin smiled confidently. 

James stood in front of the phone, taking in deep breathes. He was unprepared for this sort of thing but children don't come with guidelines and sometimes life tosses you in without a life jacket. He just had to jump right in and hoped it worked out. He called the elementary school to ask information on Mave, asking if he could get in touch with her grandmother. Luckily Shelly Liang, Mave's grandmother, was on the piece of paper for emergency contact. 

"My daughter and her are friends and decided to have a play date today", James chuckled as he talked to one of the administrative's in the school office, the woman on the line laughed too, telling him it's alright and she's had this happen a few times so it was nothing to worry about. 

James hung up after writing down the grandmother's number and got her on the line after a few rings. "Hello? Mrs. Liang? This is James Emerson". 

"How can I help you Mr. Emerson?" Shelly Liang asked. 

"This is going to sound very...I don't know you'd put it. My daughter and your granddaughter befriended each other at school and my daughter brought her home and I don't mind of course", James started to say, feeling nervous. 

There was a sigh of relief on the other line, "Is Mave okay?" Shelly Liang wanted to know. 

"She's fine, yes", he paused, not sure how to talk about this next part, "My daughter, Erin, suspects she has a few bruises on her. She told me about Mave's father hitting her and-" James had started to explain. 

Shelly Liang swore under her breath before sighing, "My daughter married a fisherman who was nothing but a drunk and hangs around the Gotham docks with the rest of 'em. She doesn't have the cojones to leave him", she stopped herself from ranting at this poor man, "I'm sorry Mr. Emerson, forgive me. I'm glad Mave is safe. Trust me, that asshole Marcus won't notice she isn't in the house. I'll come by in the morning to bring her some clothes". 

James paused after thanking her, "Mrs. Liang, we should probably sit down and talk about telling a judge or someone so Mave can be safe-" 

"Don't worry Mr. Emerson, I have plans to get full custody of Mave", Shelly Liang told him, "Thank you for calling me and tell my granddaughter I'll be there in the morning. Can I have your address please?" 

"Of course", James gave her his address and she thanked him again before hanging up. 

James put the phone back in it's cradle, standing in the kitchen and listening to the girls upstairs. It seemed the girl's grandmother would handle getting custody of her and maybe she'd been trying for years. Maybe the girl's own mother had come to some common sense. James could only speculate and assume this is why the grandmother seemed so relieved that Mave was there and not at her actual home. He had been imagining Mave's grandmother to be upset that Mave was at someone's home she didn't know or at the very least the school giving him trouble. But those thoughts seemed to disperse quickly. He'd done the right thing and that's all that mattered. 

The couple of months that followed, Mave's grandmother was given full custody with visitations given to Mave's mother. Mave's mother was relieved that she didn't have to worry about her daughter being left alone and could work at her nail salon job to help support Mave and handed over divorce papers to her husband, leaving him. Erin and Mave continued to have play dates, not only after school but on the weekends as well. James helped Shelly Liang with groceries and errands since the older woman didn't drive much and did her errands when she was able to. Shelly took the girls around China town, buying them sparklers and giving them sun flower seeds to feed the birds in the park. On the afternoons that Erin was out of the house, James felt his life lift a bit and found himself going for coffee and catching a movie or even going shopping for himself or even going for a slice of pizza and allowing himself to breathe. 

The girls sat in Mave's bedroom at her grandmother's apartment, playing with dolls and pretending they were getting married. Erin started to giggle as she fitted a dress on one of the dolls. "Okay, truth or dare?" 

"Truth", Mave answered confidently. 

They didn't understand the concept of truth or dare, only having heard the fifth graders on the playground play it and they wanted to be grown up too. Erin smiled happily as she sat up like a lady. 

"Who is your perfect husband?" Erin asked. 

"Wellll", Mave tapped her chin, "He has to be smart and like space and he has to like doing the crossword puzzle even tho I'm not good at it", she paused, "About you? Truth or dare". 

Erin brushed her dolls hair, "Truth", she paused, "My perfect husband has to wear a top hat, be tall and likes to read, that's the true perfect gentlemen". 

Mave giggled, "Oh definitely", she agreed. After a minute or two, she paused, "Erin, what do you want to be when you grow up?" 

"A teacher. I want to help kids", Erin paused and looked at her, "Why? What about you?" 

"I want to go to space and be a scientist. Would you come with me and you can be a teacher at the same place", Mave wondered looking at her friend. 

"I'll go wherever you want to", Erin shook her head, her curls dancing. 

"That doesn't sound dumb right?" Mave was shy now, face blushing, "I mean---can girls really go to space?" 

Erin set down her doll and looked her in the face, "We can do anything. We can live together and make the house look like Christmas and Halloween. We can go to space and teach kids how to become scientists or teachers or artists or anything they want", she took her friend's hands, "We can be whatever we want. We can get married if we want. We can leave Gotham and show them all we can do anything". 

Mave smiled the biggest grin, "Leave Gotham", she sighed dreamily, "Just imagine". 

Erin looked up at the glow and the dark stickers on the ceiling of her friend's room with the same wistful dreamy look, "All the far away places just waiting to be explored". 

Both girls sighed together as they laid down on the floor and looked up at the ceiling. Forgetting about their game and reaching for each other in silence and holding hands, squeezing their fingers tightly as though afraid to let go. For if they did, they were afraid the other would disappear and float off and never come back. 

Years seemed to pass like a flick of a switch. First grade playground games turned into second grade school plays, third grade field trips, forth grade sick days and fifth grade book reports. Mave's grandmother had passed away sometime in between all of this and that had left Mave to live with her mother, who had started acting as though she were still in her 20's and this caused Mave to unofficially start living with Erin and James. Mave's mother knew of this arrangement but still allowed it because they were the only people she even trusted to look after her. James felt the house was more alive with two pre-teen girls in it, blasting pop music and having pillow fights for the last doughnut and flushing the toilet on each other for laughs. On Mave's 12th birthday, Erin took her best friend to the mall for the whole nine yards: nails, root beer floats, new dresses, and the movies. 

It seemed like their dreams were coming true every day and they had become so close that Erin barely had to ask Mave to get anything from the fridge or Mave asking Erin to keep the lights on the nights Mave couldn't sleep due to nightmares. They still sat under a tent playing truth or dare, they still made friendship bracelets and they still made pinkie promises. They still played dress up and they still watched the classic princess movies. The only change was that they talked about the future, about college, about travel. As the winter months started to set in, Erin noticed Mave coughed a lot but Mave waved it off as nothing. Her friend got sick alot during the winter and Erin had chalked it up to having been living in a bad place for so long and switching environments between first grade and forth grade before unofficially living with her and James in the fifth grade. 

But the cold weather only irritated her cough and James took Mave to the hospital for a check up. The doctors told James that Mave had spurts of Pneumonia from fluid filling her air sacs but the doctor reassured him that this seemed to happen often in the winter and gave him medicine for it. "She's gotten sick in the past and her grandmother always brought her in, she should be fine in a few weeks", the doctors reassured him. Mave even confirmed this herself and told James not to tell Erin about it. 

"I don't want her to worry", Mave expressed quietly to him as they walked back to the waiting room where Erin sat waiting for them. 

James was worried about hiding something like this from his ward but Mave's cough seemed to go away and James thought maybe it wasn't pneumonia like the doctors said and was just a cold. Sometimes doctors were wrong and a lot of things now a days had the same symptoms. James brushed it off and was glad Mave's cough was gone. 

Gotham's weather after winter never let up however and the air in late May was dry and heavy with a thick cold. Erin and Mave woke up early that morning, excited that it was the second to last day of school. The girls sat on their beds, giggling and holding up outfits they were planning to wear for today and tomorrow. 

"The second to last day! Finally!" Mave expressed, clearing her throat on and off. 

"I can't wait for summer vacation, let me tell you", Erin shook her head, admiring the changes in her body in the full length mirror on the back of her door. Not in a narcissistic but in a very curious way. She had started get an hour glass figure in her hips and her chest was slowly starting to become mature, "Are you okay by the way?" she asked her friend as she got dressed. 

Mave cleared her throat again, "Just a dry cough. Once I have some orange juice, I'll be fine", she assured her, "At any rate, no more homework from Mr. Adams's class", she put a hooded sweatshirt on and tied her hair back into a ponytail, "If I have to hear about the Oregon trail one more time-" 

"-You'll make him walk it", Erin ended her sentence, making both girls fall into hysterics. 

"Girls! Breakfast!" James called up the stairs. 

Mave and Erin left the rest of their school things til after breakfast, racing each other down the stairs. Breakfast was pancakes and waffles stacked like sandwiches with cut up bananas and strawberries and whipped cream. Mave had orange juice and Erin had apple. The girls sat across the table from each other like they always did, acting as though they were British. 

"What a jolly good breakfast", Erin raised her glass. 

"I concur, what a delicious and scrumptious feast", Mave also raised her glass. 

The morning routine and the drive to school happened like any other school day. James had to sit in traffic listening to some girl band and spend at least ten minutes of the girls try to name all the states of the America. He still wasn't sure what was so funny about 'Wyoming', 'Oregon', and 'Kentucky' but the girls would say them in some sort of accent and they would laugh about it. The girls were dropped off to school and hurried inside away from the windchill. Mave had started coughing again as soon as they stepped through the doors. Erin rubbed her back and took her to the nearest water fountain to get some water. 

"You sure you're okay?" Erin asked her. 

"F-Fine. Wish the weather would warm up", Mave stated, drinking some water. 

Erin didn't seem too convinced but let it go for now. If Mave wasn't okay, she'd ask her to take her to the nurses office. The second to last day of school was mostly the teachers letting them read whatever they wanted in small groups, watch films, write in their notebooks, go to the library and sit in the reading chair. Lunch was pizza and soda in the cafeteria and recess would be about thirty minutes longer then normal. Erin and Mave went to their usual spot on the playground and sat on the swings. The days of swinging to reach for the stars were over due to how long their legs had gotten and how much energy it took to pump and get a good rhythm going. They just sat together, talking quietly. Mave kept covering her mouth and coughing however. She had been having spurts of coughing fits all morning but had thought it nothing, just a dry throat. 

"Mave--Mave please let me take you inside to the nurses office", Erin said, concern and worry in her voice as she tried to stand Mave up. 

Mave usually would have waved her off but not this time. She nodded, without being able to give a vocal response. Erin went to a teacher and asked if she could take Mave inside. Luckily, Ms. Watson was on duty and gave the girls permission to go inside. Erin took her best friend to the nurses office and sat in a chair while Mave was getting looked over. The nurse kept touching Mave's throat and tonsil area and even checking her chest and asking Mave to breathe for her. 

"Sweetie, you need to go to the hospital", the nurse looked as though Mave had something contagious. 

"What? Why?" Erin asked her. 

"It's because of my Pneumonia", Mave spoke up, "Fluid is filling up in my lungs again". 

The nurse looked sadly at her, "There's air filling up in your chest" 

Erin looked scared and Mave's face went pale. The nurse asked them if they wanted her to call anyone. Erin gave her James's number and sat with Mave while they waited for James to pick them up. Mave kept coughing here and there and breathing sharply. Erin looked horrified with every breath but tried to keep calm for her, even holding her hand. James picked them up from school and drove to the hospital. The car ride was silent, unlike that very morning. When they arrived at the hospital, James filled out some forms and even made a call to Mave's mother. 

"We're at the hospital but I'll stay here with Mave", James promised her knowing she couldn't get away from the two or three jobs she'd started working at some time ago. 

Despite Gotham's hospital being busy, the doctor came out to greet them himself and took a look at the forms James had filled out for Mave, with Erin's help. The doctor had pulled James aside and spoke to him with a very grim expression. James understood what he was being told. Erin and Mave had found some homes and gardens magazines and were looking at dream houses when they were approached by the doctor. 

"Ms. Knightly, I need Ms. Liang to come with me please. I need to take some scans and do a check up", the doctor exclaimed, folding his hands in front of him. 

Mave squeezed Erin's hand and gave her a smile, "Everything will be alright". 

Again, Erin wasn't convinced but she smiled anyway, agreeing and shaking her head. She had to stay positive, for herself and for her friend. James took the seat beside her after Mave followed the doctor through the double doors. James looked at the redhead after a few seconds. 

"You going to be alright?" James asked her. 

"I don't know. I hope so", was all Erin could bring herself to say. 

Fear and worry and concern consumed her and she had a feeling deep in her gut. Normally Erin would wave off such things and not worry for the sake of being brave but she felt troubled and her brain kept pointing out little things and causing her to feel worse. She stared at the double doors and some sort of terrible thought washed over her. It was a split second but it was like a cold hand on your shoulder or walking through a ice shower. 

Why did she feel as though Mave would never walk back through those doors again? 

She had fallen asleep in the waiting room for who knew how long but her head kept slipping in and out of place, jerking her awake but time seemed to inch slowly every time she had glanced at the clock on the wall and she'd repeat the process of closing her eyes. She was unaware her hand had started to grip the arm of her chair in her sleep and her heart would begin to race in panic, worry and anxiousness. Erin tried not to think about what was going on with her best friend and tried to stay positive. Mave would be out soon and then they would get ice cream and Mave be would be okay. Hospitals helped people, right? Soon she and Mave would be planning their matching outfits for middle school and going to the mall. Erin tried to think happier thoughts when a hand touched her shoulder. The rehead glanced up to see the doctor smile kindly at her. 

"Ms. Liang, is in her hospital room Ms. Knightly", he told her, offering her his hand. 

Erin took his hand and stood up. James, who had been nodding off himself, stood up and put his hand on his ward's shoulder, quietly telling her he'd wait there for her and let her see her friend privately. The docotor nodded to James before escorting Erin through the double doors and down the hallway. Her legs felt like jelly as her body shook. It was just nerves, she told herself. They reached Mave's hospital room and the doctor held the door open for her. 

"Just press that red button by the wall or call for a nurse if you need anything", the doctor instructed gently before leaving. 

Erin barely had time to nod because he'd been passed a clipboard by a nurse and had taken off down the hallway at a casual but fast stride. She went into Mave's room and approached the bed, hearing the door behind her softly click as it shut. Mave looked sleepy but she was awake. Erin smiled as she approached the bed and reached out and took her friend's hand. Mave turned her head towards her and smiled back, squeezing her hand. 

"The doctor's said I was having a hard time breathing but I just need to rest", Mave's voice sounded horse but hopeful. 

Erin chuckled nervously, "But you'll get better right? Did they tell you when you could come home?" 

"I think tomorrow", Mave answered, making the face she did when she was thinking but was positive that was the answer. 

"Good", Erin accepted this answer, "Tomorrow you can come home and James and I will make you all the ice cream sundaes you want. With all the sprinkles and whipped cream". 

The girls giggled together and Erin pulled up a chair and sat close to Mave. Mave gazed at her best friend for the longest time, taking in her face like a photograph as though making sure to remember every detail. She gave the other girl another squeeze before leaning forward. 

"What are you doing?" Erin asked her but not moving away, just a bit surprised. 

"I want to give you one of my breathes to hold on to for me just in case", Mave stated, "People always blow kisses and people catch them. I figured it'd be like that". 

Over the years they had come up with all sorts of friendship type rules. From pinky promises with their fingers and toes, the friendship foot shake, friendship wrist watch syncs, code names for items or food, so this didn't seem that different. Erin blushed slightly and smiled, giving her a firm nod. She leaned in towards Mave and Mave reciprocated. Their lips touched for a milisecond as Mave pressed a kiss against hers, Erin puffed up her cheeks to allow her friend to breathe into her mouth. Mave breathed a little bit, enough so Erin could feel it. They pulled apart and Erin quickly closed her mouth to show her she'd caught her breath. Erin made a swishing motion and pushed air to one side of her mouth before unpuffing both her cheeks, making Mave smile. 

"There. It's tucked away for safe keeping", Erin told her confidently. 

"Thank you, Erin", Mave smiled sadly at her. 

Erin's smile faded slightly and a look of concern passed over her face, "What's wrong? Why are you sad?" 

Mave looked away for a second, tears started to stream down her face, "I had a dream while I was asleep that the doctors told me I was very sick and couldn't go home-" 

"It was just a dream! It's not real", Erin got up from her chair and leaned over the bed, "Mave, you're going to come home with me and James and we're going to watch all your favorite movies and I'm going to nurse you back to health just like when Billy Johnson gave us head lice in the 4th grade", she smacked her hand against the bed sheets firmly. 

Mave chuckled and turned back towards her, "Erin do you remember when I told you about my perfect husband?", she waited for her to shake her head before continuing, "I changed my mind, I don't want a perfect husband. I want a perfect wife", she gave her hand another squeeze. 

Erin's eyes started to well up with tears, "We can do that", her voice was shaky, "We can travel and leave Gotham and we can live together and you can go to space and I will make sure you get into that perfect college and I can be a teacher", she smiled despite how sad she felt, "We can do do whatever you want". 

Mave smiled, feeling her lungs starting to hurt again, "Erin I need to tell you something very important", she started to tell her but a beeping noise caught them both off guard. 

They both looked at Mave's hospital equipment, it was beeping in a way both of them looked at each other as though both were thinking _'what does that mean?'_. That's when Mave started to cough. Erin shook Mave's shoulder to get her attention. 

"Mave-", Erin began gently. 

"It's--it's okay, just a cough", Mave wheezed with a few breathes, struggling to sit up. 

Erin looked worried as Mave kept coughing and tried to talk but her words disappeared with each cough. Mave started to cough and cough hard. Erin sat her up and rubbed her back, hoping that would help. Mave's cheeks were turning red as the coughs came in waves, never a breath for the next one. Erin's eyes weld up with tears again as she let go of her friend to run to the door and yell out into the hallway and even running back into the room and pushing the red button next to Mave's bed. 

"Mave, it's going to be okay", Erin muttered in between sobs, looking on helplessly, "I'm going to save you. And everything will be okay". 

The doctor and a few nurses burst into the room a moment later and time just seemed to slow down in chaos as the nurses hooked up an oxygen machine to Mave and the every piece of equipment in the room all seemed to beep in unison, one after the other. One of the nurses had to pull a reluctant Erin away from Mave in the process. During all of this, James came in and pulled Erin into his arms, standing back with her as the hospital staff did their jobs.  Erin felt more and more helpless as she watched them do their jobs and wished she could fix whatever was wrong with her best friend. As though maybe there was something she knew how to do that they didn't but her brain was on fire and she couldn't quite think straight. 

One nurse stepped back towards the doctor, "The oxygen isn't doing anything", one nurse said, "She's not responding to it. She just keeps coughing and gasping for air", she looked grim as she spoke, "It's the lungs, sir". 

The doctor nodded with grim eyes and pursed lips, "Take the equipment back to the ER", he used the clipboard in his hand to gesture. 

Erin's tear stained face watched as two nurses left with the oxygen mask and the equpiment that went with it. She looked in horror towards Mave, who was gasping for air now after coughing for so long and back towards the doctor and the other nurse in the room. The other nurse had laid Mave back down on her hospital bed. James hugged her tight as Erin fell to her knees onto the tiled flooring. James sank onto the floor with her. Erin cried harder. She barely registered the doctor approaching them as she stared at the hospital bed. After a few minutes, she looked up at the doctor, lip trembling as she sniffled and new tears began anew. 

The doctor shook his head, "There's nothing we can do", he told them, he glanced at James, "Mr. Emerson, she doesn't need to be here for this." 

"Erin, the doctor is right. I'm sorry-" James tried to say. 

"No! No! I'm not leaving her!" Erin shrieked as she broke free of James's embrace and nearly tripped on her way to the hospital bed and took Mave's hand, "M-M-Mave, Mave I'm here," She sobbed into her friend's hand, "Please don't go to sleep. Please don't go!" 

"I have to go sleep", Mave's voice was horse and her words were slow, very distant. She turned her head to look at her, "You'll be brave, I know you will. Be brave for me---o--okay?" she coughed. 

Erin started sobbing and shaking, nodding in response, "I'll--I'll try", was all she could muster, she bit her lip as she tried to hold back tears, shoulders shaking as she helplessly watched her friend. 

After a few minutes Mave's wheezing had become slow and her eyes looked glassy, every few seconds she choked out a cough but other then that there was no vocal response. Erin cried out and sobbed harder as she clung to her. Mave slowly squeezed her hand back for a few seconds. Erin felt the small squeeze and she looked up, breathing heavily from crying. Corn flower blue eyes met the dark brown eyes one last time as Mave's breathing fully stopped. There was no more wheezing noises or the choking cough. Her fingers had gone limp and slipped from Erin's.  Erin stared into her friend's liveless eyes and it took a full few seconds for recoginition to set in. 

Mave was gone. Gone forever. 

James moved quickly to grab Erin, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her away. Erin struggled against him, reaching for Mave, breaking down fully. James lifted her into his arms and sank down in a chair far in the corner of the room. The doctor picked up Mave's clipboard and wrote down something as the nurse called the time of death. Erin's sobs were the only noise to be heard within the room as the nurse covered Mave's body with a sheet and the staff came in to take her out. The doctor, Erin and James were the only ones left in the hospital room after five or so minutes. The doctor soon left the room, leaving them alone. Erin had long since stopped sobbing but the tears never stopped stinging he face, causing her nose to sting as she pressed her face against James's shirt. 

The house felt empty in the light of dawn. It seemed like they were returning to the house after weeks of being away. James had to carry Erin in because she seemed to be unable to walk or even move her limbs. Her eyes looked lost in a fog and had only responded to taking a box of tissues from him as he placed her on the couch. 

"Erin?" James spoke very quietly as he sat down next to her, touching her shoulder. 

"I could have saved her", Erin's voice cracked, "I could have saved her James", she looked at him, eyes haunted, hurt, upset, "She gave me her breath and I wasn't quick enough. If I gave her her breath, she'd still be here", she started to cry again. 

"Erin, please don't blame yourself, there was nothing you could do-", James tried to tell her gently. 

Erin looked horrified as she stared at him. How could he say that?! Mave had given her her breath and now she was dead because of her! Mave died because she didn't do anything. It ws her fault! Erin got up from the couch as though the cough had burned her. She looked furious, red curls curling as though they were full of electricity. 

"Mave died because of me! I didn't help her and it's my fault! She gave me her breath to hold onto and I promised! I promised her James and now she's gone! Gone forever!" Erin shouted. 

She furiously ran out of the room and up the stairs, her footsteps disappearing to the second floor and her door slamming. James felt stunned as he sat on the couch, burying his face in his hands after a moment or two. Upstairs, Erin ripped off her coat and angrily sank to the floor. She sat there for a few seconds before glancing over at the bed where Mave had always slept. Mave's clothes, her favorite stuffed animal, everything was still in the same spot. Just yesterday morning they had been getting ready for school and laughing, talking about summer vacation. 

_Today was the last day of school._ _Today was the last day of sixth grade._

Despite how raw her throat felt, despite how much her cheeks and nose stung from the redness and dampness from the tears, Erin cried. She doubled over into the floor and cried. Her fingers gripping the carpet beneath her. She cried for her friend, she cried and begged. She begged for her friend's foregiveness. She begged the world to bring her back. She slammed her hands against the floor and rocked on her knees, shaking as she sobbed. Her heart was broken and she felt as though there was a space where her stomach should be and it felt empty. Erin cried for a while until she couldn't bring herself to cry anymore. 

The birds did not come to chirp in the tree outside of her window. The early morning sky was grey and there was no sun. James came to check on her after giving her some space and found Erin asleep on the floor of her room. He picked her up and put her into her bed. He'd called the school and he'd called Mave's mother, as he had done the day prior when Mave had gotten sick at school and had been brought to the hospital. James sat on the edge of her bed and stroked her hair. 

"This city will try to eat you up and spit you out kiddo but you'll beat it. You'll get through this, I know you will. Mave believes in you and I know she'll be watching over you", James murmured, hoping this would ease any worry and hurt she was feeling. 

He left her alone after a minute or so, knowing fully well he wasn't going to get a response, not right away at least. Erin woke up after he had left the room and she glanced at the photos on her nightstand. They were framed photos of her and Mave. There were multiple slots in the frame so up to six photos were allowed to be put in it. 'Best Friends Forever' read across the bottom. Erin's eyes filled with tears, despite the fact she was too tired to cry. She looked away from the photo and grabbed her oldest companion, the fancily dressed white rabbit, by the arm and got up from her bed. She hugged the rabbit tightly, head bowed, as she walked across the room towards the door, opening it. Before closing the door behind her, Erin took one last glance at the empty mattress on the floor. As though for a second, she saw her and Mave sitting on it, sitting together and laughing but the image disappeared just as quickly. Erin shook her head, sniffling. 

"Goodbye Mave", the words soft in a whisper as she turned away sadly and closed her bedroom door. 

Erin stood in the quiet upstairs hallway. It was just as quiet as it had been back in the days before elementary school. There would be no more running up the stairs in a happy race, no more giggling late at night, no more friendship bracelets to be made, no more school projects to be shared. Despite the fact she could hear James down in the kitchen, Erin felt alone. More alone, if that was possible. The darkness of the hallway seemed to eat her up and all she could do was hug the white rabbit in her arms tightly to her chest. Her mother was gone, father was never coming back, and now, her best friend was gone too. She sank to the floor as though allowing the darkness to swallow her. She didn't want to fight it. Her once happy expression turned sorrowful and she barely registered James some time later, who had found her sitting in the middle of the hallway and was trying to get her to move or say something as he crouched down in front of her. 

Her cornflower blue eyes did nothing but stare at the dark blue sea rug and she wished she could just fall into it. The weird part was that she felt as though part of herself already had the second Mave died. Like a part of her had gone with her somehow.


	4. Chapter 4

The pain between her legs throbbed horribly as she sat in the bathtub, the water hot and soothing against her skin. She watched the bubbles foaming across the top of the water, scanning across to where her toes were peaking out all the way up her body to where her newly formed breasts had finally started to grow. Puberty seemed lost on her as she hadn't thought about it at all, not since last year when her breasts had started form and there had been light red hairs where they hadn't been before. Erin brought the washcloth up to her face and sighed into it. The bathroom was covered in steam and she felt safe in it somehow. It hugged her, wrapping her in warmth. Erin wanted to fall asleep as her body finally relaxed but she had to wash herself. She glanced over at her clothes on the floor of the bathroom, the stained underwear she'd been wearing. It'd happened on the bus ride home from school. The pain, the feeling of wetness. 

Erin flinched at the thought of blood being able to come out of you every month for a few days. Like someone had cut you. It made her stomach churn with disgust and she wrinkled her nose. It was ugly and vile and she thought of the books she read in English class about how in the old days bleeding meant you were fit to bare children, even at a young age. Her whole body twisted and she shook her head, her damp mane of red curls dancing along with her movements. She was glad she wasn't born then. The idea of being married young and sent off like sheep infuriated her. She instead thought of other less disgusting things, such as what she was going to eat after her bath. Her stomach now felt empty and maybe her cramps would discontinue if she ate something. James had started getting take out food during the day and sometimes he left her leftovers. With her in middle school now, he'd gotten job. Erin still wasn't sure what his job was, he'd gotten very quiet recently as well. 

_"Fine by me. At least he's stopped asking if I'm okay",_ Erin thought, but with no bitterness or resentment or anger towards her guardian. 

Since Mave's death last year, Erin had been sent to counseling for a few months. James had been worried for her but the counselor had reassured him that she wasn't suicidal or anything dangerous. She was depressed with grief with a healthy outlook of returning to normal. Erin wasn't sure what the right period for mourning was but nonetheless she had stopped seeing the counselor with the promise of returning in the future if she should need to seek out anyone. Erin felt better being able to talk to the woman and was rather intrigued by the idea of being a counselor herself perhaps. She had wanted to teach but sitting with a counselor in private sessions felt safer and made her feel better in a way. The woman had allowed her to break her down and mourn and confess her thoughts without the woman judging her. Not that James ever judged her but he was a man. Erin wondered if men did cry or feel things just like girls or were they different completely. 

She felt estranged from James since Mave had passed away. She was sure it would pass. Some days she and James would sit in the kitchen and play card games and listen to a baseball game over the radio and other days she hid in her room and read her books, ignoring him completely. Erin ran her hand through the bubbles in the water, just staring at them. Her cornflower blue eyes misted a bit thinking about her best friend. Mave had been buried wearing her half of their friendship bracelets and Erin had been privately pulled aside and given a few of Mave's things. One thing included Mave's favorite black headband. It was thick at the top and thin on the sides. It was currently in a keepsake box and Erin had tried it on a few times but seemed to sad to actually wear it. Maybe one day. Taking a deep sigh, she returned to washing her legs and in between them before draining the tub and getting out. Erin dried off and put on her bathrobe, putting her dirty laundry in the basket. She went to the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a box of pads. The nurse at the school had taught the girls how to use Tampons and pads but Erin felt squeamish and went with the pads. 

Erin blew dried her hair and poked her head out of the bathroom, listening for a car door or footsteps. James still wasn't home, good. She snuck down to her room and shut the door behind her. She slipped into clean clothes, staring at her calendar on the wall as she did. Her thirteenth birthday would be in two days. She went to the calendar and made a note about her period. She put her hands on her belly for a moment and stared downwards. She noticed she was starting grow too and losing her baby fat with her body. She blushed and tugged at her clothes a little. Her stomach seemingly growled and she decided she needed food if she was going take anything for her cramps. Though the bath had somewhat made the pain less horrible, it was still there as she made her way into the kitchen and tried to patiently make a snack. 

"Nachos and ice cream it is", Erin said aloud in a low sigh. 

James sat in his car. He'd turned it off but left the radio on, the low hum of the weather and sports announcements were just white noise as he sat with his head tilted to the side, watching cars go past, counting them just to pass the time. After  losing count around 20 and what seemed like maybe a half hour, looking in the rearview mirror he saw movement and he reached his hand down to open the back of the car. Daniel loaded a duffle bag and a small bag, a laptop most likely from the size and closed the hatch. James started his car as his friend got into the passenger seat. 

"Thank you for driving me to the airport", Daniel gave him a smile. 

"This is the last favor I'm doing for you", James stated an uncharacteristic tone, a bit coldly then he usually was towards him, "It'd be stupid for you to call a cab since you'd be killed before you reached your terminal", he pulled out of the parking space and drove off, making a u-turn and finding a shorter route. 

Daniel frowned slightly, "Does she know anything?" he wanted to know. 

"That I took a job escorting you to all your meetings and making sure nobody shoots you in the head? No", James answered, "Do you even care about her?" 

Daniel had been living with guilt for years now. It ate at him every day. Every day he stepped out his apartment door. But he was doing it for her. To protect her. "Erin is the first thing on my mind when I get up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I've been putting money in an accnount for her since the day she was born. Elizabeth set it up when we found out we were having a girl and she put money in it the nine months she was pregnant with her. On top of that, I've been having Falcone take money out of my paychecks so I can add that money in there too. Plus she has the house and any money Elizabeth and I have in our accounts", he explained. 

James just stared forward, he gave a sigh, "What do you want me to tell her?" 

"Nothing", Daniel murmured, looking out the window, "You're acting like I'm not coming back", he tried to jokingly chuckle. 

They came to a stop light and James looked at him, "I really hope you don't". 

"What does that mean?" Daniel raised his eyebrows in a surprise and maybe even shock. 

James said nothing and when the red light turned green, he pulled down a side street and found a parking spot. The car jerked a little as he breaked and put the car into park. The man in the passenger seat frowned and looked a little annoyed. 

"It means", James breathed in an almost exhausted manner, gripping and ungripping the steering wheel, trying to find the words and choosing them carefully. He let go of the steering wheel and let his hands fall into his lap, "Daniel, I can't keep letting Erin think you're going to show up like you've been James Bond or some low profile superhero or FBI agent or some other big dream detective for the past seven years. When she's old enough I am going to tell her the truth. She waited every day for you to come back", he glanced at his friend, "She was five years old when you walked out that door, promising her you'd come visit. I'd really hoped you'd leave the business behind and come home to be her dad". 

Daniel turned his head away and looked out the window, watching the shoppers and the business lunches of middle class office employees. Watching children holding the hands of their parents and chasing after their siblings up and down the sidewalks. "You think she'd be better off without me?" His voice was quiet. 

"I'm done telling you what I think or what I know or what my opinion is. You had years to mourn Elizabeth. Erin is almost thirteen years old and she lost her best friend last year", James breathed quietly, "Daniel, if you do come back to Gotham after this trip, I hope you do make the right decision". 

His best friend looked at him, "Just take me to the airport", was all he said. 

James held himself back from saying anything else that would put a bigger wedge in their friendship and pulled out of park and continued driving. They spent the rest of the car ride in silence, Daniel trying to tune the radio and find something to listen to. A college basketball game was the only white noise he could find to numb the silence between them. Every so often he'd try to catch James's eye or say something to make him talk to him. _'Remember that one time-'_ stories but James was not baiting into it. At long last the airport loomed into view and they sat in a long line of cars pulling up into the terminals. Daniel pointed out which was his and James pulled up to the curb when it was his turn. James did get out and pull out his luggage from the back of the car. 

"Thank you", Daniel stated, holding out his hand to him. 

James took it, "Your welcome", he smiled politely and looked at the man in front of him. In a weird way he felt as though the man in front of him was a complete stranger. It was like Daniel Knightly was gone and in front of him was someone else. Someone he knew long ago but couldn't put his finger on what had changed. 

Daniel pulled James into an embrace and whispered in his ear, "I hope to see you some day again old friend", was all he said before pulling away and grabbing his luggage. 

James stared blankly as Daniel disappeared through the automatic doors, not knowing what he'd meant. He hoped? He had an unnerving feeling he wouldn't see Daniel again and it was something he couldn't quite shake as he drove back into the city. Not being able to quite understand what he'd meant. Unknown to both of them however, that 'some day' would never come to pass and neither would see each other again. 

It had been a couple of weeks since James had driven Daniel to the airport and things had seemed to go back to normal, at least roughly. Erin had gone back to normal and spent more time with James, even letting him take her to a play for her birthday and doing some baking like brownies and cookies and cooking dinners together while playing board games and listening to sports on the radio. James was happy to see the skip in her step, to see her happy and smiling again. He knew she wasn't fine but it was more then enough. He'd been worried about her since Mave's passing but Erin seemed to be handling herself well, at least well enough as a teenager goes. _"When she's ready to open up to me, I'll be here",_ James had thought as he watched her try to make three different pies at the island counter. 

It was a Thursday night when everything normal had come crashing down. It was after a dinner of Sheppard's pie and trivia pursuit. Dishes had been done and they had gone into the living room with five scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a cup of green jasmine tea with honey. James had put it on the news as usual since nothing of interest was on. Erin seemed lost in thought as she sipped her tea and ate her dessert. It almost seemed like nothing note worthy was happening as James started to look at other channels when a story alert came up on the screen. Erin grabbed James's hand to not change the channel just yet. 

_"At 4:35pm this evening Flight 126 heading from Metropolis back to Gotham lost control. Officials are still investigating the cause for the crash. The plan landed in the river just outside of Gotham. The flight held 129 passengers. There were reported only thirteen injuries thus far with four deaths, one included the copilot and three passengers-"_

James's heart stopped and Erin looked at him. He glanced at her and noticed she seemed to be probing him as though he might know something about the flight crash in question. It was the way her corn flower blue's seemed to brighten. She didn't have to speak to question or ask. It was eerie how her intuition seemed to grow every day. It was the type of intuition only a mother could have. He lowered the volume on the TV and looked at her as he set the remote down. 

"Your father was on that flight", James's mouth was dry as he spoke, "I drove him to the airport", he couldn't speak whole sentences or even begin to explain himself. 

Erin's gaze turned from him to the TV. The news alert header to the left of the screen started blinking again and she asked James to turn the volume up, her voice quiet. James started to tell her that Daniel could be one of the people injured or unharmed. 

"They haven't accounted for everyone yet-" James started to say. 

The news man started talking, _"We just received word that the three passengers found dead, besides the copilot, Benjamin Kelly, were Steven Henski, McKenzie Adams, and Daniel Knightly-"_

James muted the television and turned to see Erin sitting with her hands in her lap, staring straight forward. James dropped the remote and pulled her into his arms to hug her but Erin did not move or even react. He could feel her shaking but she did not react, not yet anyway. It was though as she had witnessed someone getting hit by a bus and everything had slowed down to a stand still. Everything was in slow motion. She stared at the TV screen to see her father's name among the others. James was hugging her and crying and after what felt like forever, Erin closed her eyes and buried her face into his shoulder. Her eyes burned with tears, her fingers clung to his sweater. 

_'Daddy...mommy....Mave....you're all gone...'_

After a couple of minutes, Erin pulled away from James, shaking and curled up against the couch. James pulled himself together long enough to turn off the TV and wipe his nose with a tissue. He was thinking about the last time he'd talked to Daniel. It all felt unreal and yet it chilled him. Unnerved him. He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and put it over Erin, taking the dishes into the kitchen and leaning against the counter, putting his face into his hands and sobbing quietly. He hated himself. Why did death and disease follow him? First his (now ex) wife taking their son out to the West Coast after finding out about his addiction and his job. Then Elizabeth. Now Daniel. The Knightly's had been the only friend's he'd had and now they were both gone. Their daughter surviving them in this cruel hateful world. Pulling himself from his own pitiful sorrows, James splashed water onto his face and dried his eyes. 

Erin was still staring glassy-eyed at nothing as James brought her another cup of tea. She sat on the couch with the blanket wrapped around her, cheeks tear stained but they were drying. Her eyes seemed dry now and beyond wanting to water. He felt her forehead and checked on her as though he were afraid she'd get sick. He'd call the school tomorrow and tell them Erin needed a few days at home to feel better. Long after Erin drained her tea cup and said good night, taking a warm glass of milk up to bed with her, James got a phone call. Who would call the house at this hour? 

"Probably wrong number, it happens", James thought wearily, "Hello?" 

"James", a quiet voice rasped. 

James's thought he was hearing things and got angry, "Is this a sick joke? Who is this?" 

"It's not a joke my friend", Daniel's voice answered, "I need you to listen carefully and not ask questions. I know what you may have seen on TV but I survived that crash. A minor injury to my leg but it doesn't matter", his throat was dry and he sounded tired, "I thought about what you said and", here he paused, "I'm going away, James. I'm at the GCPD and-" 

"Are you crazy?" James whispered with a hiss. 

"I'm turning myself in. I'm going to plead guilty and tell them everything I know. I'm going to ask for no witnesses so they won't involve Erin or let her know what I've been involved in", Daniel explained quickly. 

James's sorrows melted away and replaced with confusion and anger, "Don't do this. Come home. You'd be better off with her angry at you for faking your death then--then putting yourself in some prison", he felt sad again but it was because Daniel was making foolish mistakes and he didn't understand why he made such rash decisions. 

"I'm sorry", Daniel told him, "Don't tell her I'm alive". 

"Daniel-", James started to say but heard only the dial tone. 

James felt the phone slide from his grip and it just hung on it's cord, swinging back and forth slowly. He stood in the dark kitchen, feeling it's icy grip on him. He felt alone and wished he could have more then just a cigarette. The urge to get high and drink until he could only taste cotton in his mouth was very appealing right now but he shoved the temptation aside reminding himself he had to protect the only remaining member of the family. His family. He hung up the phone and turned off the living room lights. Making his way upstairs. He checked on Erin one last time and found her fast asleep, hugging her childhood companion, the very reliable Mr. Ears. The rabbit was worn from wet kisses and hugs and travel and outside tea parties. His right eye had gone missing some time ago and Erin had used a marker to make a circle to replace it. 

Retiring to his room, James went to bed fully clothed. His stomach feeling empty despite dinner and dessert having been not that long ago. He stared at the clock with grimace. Erin had gone to bed thinking her father had died and James lay awake knowing the truth. The teenager would go back to being mysterious and withdrawn he was sure once morning came. Maybe a few days away from school would do her some good after all. 

Sometime in the night, about three fifteen am, Erin woke up to use the bathroom and then climbed back into after. Sitting in bed, she glanced at her book shelf. She got up and picked up the copy of _Alice In Wonderland_ she'd found in her parents closet a long time ago. Sitting in bed with it, she traced her fingers over the pictures, moving over the pages and looking over each of the characters. It brought her comfort in an odd way that she couldn't explain. s _"Dad is the white king. Mom is the white queen. Mave is the pretty singing flower from the Golden Afternoon and James is the caterpillar. Mr. Ears, you're the white rabbit",_ Erin thought to herself with sleepy amusement, _"But who are you? I don't think I've met you yet",_ She mused looking at the illustrations for the mad tea party. Looking so intently she thought she might fall into the book. 

About three thirty-seven am, Erin had fallen back to sleep. The book lay open at the end of her bed. The illustration of Alice eating pieces of mushroom to grow big illuminated in the early morning light. 

The next few days seemed grey and bleak, even more so for Gotham's usual over cloudy weather. Erin stayed home school and James made arrangements for Daniel's funeral. A body had never been recovered but James kept that information to himself. Erin had started carrying different books with her everywhere. Whether it was the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Peter Pan or Alice in Wonderland. She also seemed fond of just sitting with her hands in her lap and James considered asking her counselor to make a few home visits. He was worried she was moving away from the world, instead of moving with it. Maybe it was just how she was grieving, he didn't know. She'd gone back to not talking to him at times and other times she asked how he was doing. 

_"She's the one in pain and she's making sure I'm okay",_ James thought and could only smile. It was like her to put others first and in this instance she was looking after him instead of allowing him to take care of her. 

Daniel's funeral was held at Gotham Cemetery and he was buried alongside Elizabeth. A few of Falcone's men showed up and it made James uneasy but they introduced themselves as Daniel's friends and colleagues to Erin and she politely shook their hands. They left once the funeral was over and allowed Erin to mourn in peace. James didn't like it but Erin didn't seem bothered. Arriving home, James saw a black car in front of the house as he parked in the driveway. Again, the same men from the funeral approached and one opened the car for Erin. Don Carmine Falcone stepped out of the backseat of the black car and approached, a teenage son in tow. 

"Don Falcone", James nodded his head politely. 

"James", Carmine nodded back, "This is my son Mario", he gestured with a hand to the fifteen year old boy, and then turned to regard Erin, "Ms. Knightly, I'm sorry for your loss. How are you doing?" 

Erin looked at him and smiled politely, "Okay, thank you", she nodded. 

Carmine stooped down onto one knee and took a flower from his breast pocket, giving it to her. Cupping her hands in a fatherly manner and telling her everything was going to be fine and that her dad was a good man. Erin nodded and thanked him again. Carmine stood back up and gestured to his son. 

"Mario, please escort Ms. Knightly down to the ice cream parlor on fifth and sixth, they have good Italian Gelato I hear", he replied. 

Mario wasted no time in stepping forward and offering Erin his arm. Erin wasn't sure what was happening but took his arm regardless. She felt a weird vibe and noted it for later. She and Mario were followed by one escort and Carmine waited until the two teenagers were out of sight to talk to the other man. James started breathing heavy and felt threatened as his men stood around him. 

"Where is he James?" Carmine became serious and calculated. 

"He--he called me last night and said he was handing himself over to the police", James stuttered out, "Please--Please don't hurt her. Please. Take it out on me, whatever Daniel did-" 

"I'm a family man, James. She's just a child. Erin has more protection in this city then her father does", Carmine explained. 

James sighed in exasperation, "Jesus", he muttered, "I don't know. He said he was going on a business trip, he didn't tell he me where. I've been driving him around town but didn't ask any questions. I know nothing of what he's been doing". 

Carmine nodded, "Most likely to keep Erin from having to go through trial", he noted, "She's been through enough", he took out a card and handed it James, "Give that to her when she's ready". 

James looked at the card, "Protection?" 

"Yes", Carmine nodded, "Mario is studying to be a doctor and he's already fifteen. Gotham might be a bit safer for her if she had the name Falcone looking after her. Give it a thought and give her my card when she's old enough to understand and make a decision herself", he smiled. 

"Thank you", James nodded politely. 

Carmine got into his car and drove away. James realized Erin wasn't back yet. He went to the porch steps and waited. He kept his eyes on his watch and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried to stay patient and rational. It was only a few minutes later another car pulled up to the curb and Mario stepped out of the backseat to hold the door open. Erin got out holding a plastic white cup and a couple of napkins. The two teens were talking for a moment and James frowned slightly. Erin nodded to Mario and Mario took her hand and kissed it. Erin's face screwed up in a smile and her face blushed. She waved goodbye to the boy as he got back into the car and the car pulled away. 

James stood up as Erin walked up to the house, "Are you okay?" He asked, putting his hands on her shoulders gently, hoping not to startle her. 

"Yeah I'm fine", Erin reassured him, "Mario is so weird. Felt like I was in the Godfather or something", she shook her head, "Opening the door for me and being so polite. The boys at school don't act like that". 

James noted she seemed rather giddy and realized she'd never ever had contact with a boy before, it felt strange and foreign to see her like this, "Are you going to see him again?" He teased her as they went inside. 

"What? No", Erin picked at her ice cream, "Why?" She seemed curious. 

"No reason", James tried to make a grab for her ice cream and she laughed and pulled away, mocking him about his doctor telling him to go on a diet, he laughed, "I don't know, don't you want to get married?" He asked her. 

Erin seemed to go into a dream like state for a second, "I don't know. I guess...maybe. I'm waiting for someone dashing and mysterious and I don't know...is perfect for me", she sighed, "Mario is okay looking", she paused, "James, who was that man who gave me that flower?" 

"He's a friend of mine and your dad's", James told her, "Carmine Falcone. He owns lots of places in Gotham. He left me his number just in case you were interested in his son", he winked at her. 

Erin was eating her ice cream in a dainty fashion and made a face. She said nothing and shook her head again as she walked into the living room to sit. James had pocketed the card Falcone had given him and decided it'd have to wait after all. Also on the other hand James really didn't feel like dealing with teenage hormones so he was happy Erin didn't seem interested in boys just yet. But the fact of the matter was that Falcone had just showed up at the house meant Daniel's plans had been for nothing and everything he'd done to keep Erin safe had been in vain. Falcone knew of her existence and bribing a vulnerable teenage girl with a fifteen year old boy with a name and studying to be a doctor, that made Jame's stomach turn even more. 

He went into Daniel's office that was located in the back of the house and tucked the card into one of the drawers. He'd wait to let Erin know everything when the right time came. He hoped it wouldn't come to that. She'd find out eventually, she always had a talent for figuring things out whether spoken or not. It seemed her thing to know when something was off. If he could hold off on a couple more years, at least until she was out of high school if he was that hopeful, he'd tell her everything then. For now, it was just biding his time.


	5. Chapter 5

Cosmo Krank was a fifteen year old boy with a thick waist, was pretty tall for boys his height and messy short brown hair and glasses. Most of the books in his locker contained engineering, schematics on building and a few other such sources. He tinkered mostly due to not being able to keep his hands steady without holding something to keep him calm due to a fight or flight response and being skittish. He closed his locker at the end of third period and turned to see his best friend standing in a small group of students. She waved them goodbye after talking to two larger boys, both identical. Cosmo grabbed a few text books and closed his locker door, shouldering his messenger bag and stood at a distance until his friend was alone. 

"What was that all about?" Cosmo asked the redhead. 

Erin Knightly looked a bit flustered, cheeks blushing, "Some of the seniors in my psych class asking me for advice again. I'm helping the Tweedles, you know David and Dean from the wrestling team, with their math homework and some of the others seemed to feel comfortable talking to me more then the school counselor. Don't know why", she shifted her bag and the books in her arms. 

"Probably because everyone knows you've got everything figured out even though you're just a freshmen", Cosmo pointed out as he walked her to her next class, "Wish I did. My old man wants me to take over the family business. He's not even ancient yet and he's having me work at the desk". 

"Don't you want to though?" Erin wanted to know, tucking her hair behind her ear as they walked up a flight of stairs. 

Cosmo stopped and leaned back against the wall in the stairwell as other students passed them, "I know this sounds silly but I kind of want to open my own toy shop and build my own stuff. Not sell refurnished toys donated from the neighborhood. I actually want to build things from scratch but my dad...well you know", he shrugged. 

"Yeah", Erin gave him a warm smile, "But you never know. In a few years your dad can retire and you can turn the shop into your own toy shop. You can sell what you need too or take those old toys and rebuild them from parts or something", she waved her hand. 

The stairwell was beginning to empty and the conversation was cut short as they realized they needed to hurry and get to class. There was a hurried, "I'll save you a seat at lunch!" as they raced past each other to get to their respective study halls. Erin managed to sit down in a seat in the back just as the minute hand ticked past the hour. Middle school had been very quiet and to Erin it had felt like she had been locked in a room with no windows or doors, nothing but walls and her silent screaming. There had been no acknowledgment or any kind of friendships to be had. High school was far from glamorous either but at least Erin had found a friend in Cosmo Krank. And after a while, despite only seemingly being a few students, she had made friends in her psych class. There was Dean and David Tweedle, Paige Monroe and a quiet boy named Basil Karlo, to name a few. 

But Erin had only ever hung out with Cosmo outside school. They went to his father's toy shop downtown and hung out in the back. She took out her homework as she got lost in her thoughts, debating whether she wanted to read the entire book they were assigned for English Lit or to start on her three page essay for History. History it was. She could always get lost in her book at home after dinner. 

The room was cold or rather colder then normal. It felt like death's grip but in this room only. The rest of Gotham general had been relatively warm and not too bad but maybe it was just him. James had done a series of tests including a CT Scan earlier in the week and had come back for a follow up visit with his doctor. The nurse had taken his weight, done the normal routine and left him to wait for Dr. Stevens. James found himself laying back on the table, shoes off and hands folded on his stomach. Eyes staring up at the ceiling, counting those little black holes in the ceiling tiles in disinterest. He had started to notice he was getting sick a lot more often, coughing fits when there was no reason and he had made up a million excuses whenever he did to keep Erin from worrying about him. Not only that but he was fatigued more. And it was the usual fatigue of a long day, it was sleeping a lot more and going to bed earlier then usual. James closed his eyes and thought about life before all of this. He thought back to Erin being five years old, before everything shifted... 

"Mr. Emerson?" 

James was unaware of the doctor coming in and he opened his eyes when he heard his name, taking a moment for his eyes to adjust before sitting up. His doctor walked towards him before taking a seat on the stool just in front of him. 

"Oh--hi Dr. Stevens", Jame said warmly. 

Dr. Stevens looked a bit somber, "I'm going to jump right past the pleasantries", she stated, though she smiled, "Mr. Emerson, this isn't a conversation I like having with my patients". 

James's heart sunk into his stomach, not liking her tone, "This doesn't sound good", his voice was hallow. 

"I'm afraid not", Dr. Stevens held her clipboard as though she were afraid of it, she looked down at the papers in front of her, sighing heavily and then looking back at the man in front of her, "Mr. Emerson you have a history of smoking", her throat grew tight, unable to finish that particular sentence, "I'm unfortunately sorry to tell you that you have an advanced form of lung cancer. And an unrelated factor", she lifted up another piece of paper on her clipboard, "Your cells are degenerating, at a slow pace for now but"- 

James felt frozen in place, his body shaking, "But?", his mouth was dry. 

"I met with other doctors, top doctors from other hospitals to get a second opinion", Dr. Stevens tried to say quickly, "I don't know how tell you-" 

James hung his head, staring at his hands, seeing how badly he was shaking. His doctor reached out to touch his arm. 

"Tell me". 

After school got out, Erin and Cosmo took Cosmo's scooter downtown to Krank's Toy Shop. Erin hadn't wanted to worry James about this but she felt safer going with Cosmo after school instead of walking home straight away. She was trying to avoid Mario Falcone or any contact with those black SUV's. In fact, for weeks at a time, there'd be one outside her school or outside her house when she walked home. She'd actually paid the Tweedle brothers to walk her home on the days she couldn't hang out with Cosmo, which had been on rare occasions. The two fifteen year old's went into the shop through the back door. 

"Ah, good. Ms. Knightly you brought my son in on time", Griffin Krank, Cosmo's dad, said as he leaned over the railing from the second floor of the shop. 

"Hi Mr. Krank!" Erin waved up at him and chuckled at the joke, which earned her an elbow from Cosmo teasingly. 

"We'll watch the front dad!" Cosmo promised as they made their way to the front of the shop. 

"Your good kids! I'll be in my office!" Griffin yelled back. 

Erin and Cosmo set up their homework at the large front desk but Erin was more interested in poking around as she walked around, looking out the big windows at the traffic going by. She pressed her nose to the slightly unclean glass. Cosmo came to stand next to her, playing with a wooden nutcracker. The wined up on the back was broken and he started tinkering with it. 

"Do you think you'll own your own shop some day?" Cosmo asked her. 

"What do you mean?" Erin raised an eyebrow. 

He stuck his tongue between his lips as he took a screwdriver to the back of the doll and started to take out the back, "I mean...once you get your degree, are you going to run a business or something like that? Maybe we can be neighbors". 

Erin folded her arms, turning her back on the street and leaning against the window, "I thought I'd become a counselor or a social worker, actually. Help people", she watched her friend take apart the doll. Her arms drooped and she played with the hem of her shirt, "I wanted to be a teacher for a long time but I thought maybe if my classmates think I'm good with advice maybe I should do something with it". 

"I don't know. I always saw you as the queen of Gotham", Cosmo joked, waving one hand as though depicting a rainbow, "Queen Erin", he laughed, "Queen Erin and her royal toy maker". 

Erin laughed, not being able to help it, shaking her head, "I'm hardly queen material but sure. You can be my royal toy maker", she laughed harder the second a spring came loose in the nut cracker and caused Cosmo to jump. She put her hands to her mouth to hide more laughter. 

Cosmo made a sarcastic look, which caused her to laugh more. She hadn't had this kind of friendship since Mave and she honestly felt more like her old self in a way. The two poked fun at each other as they sat down to try and do homework but it ended with them playing a board game they found on a shelf instead. 

After a couple of hours, Erin felt it was safe enough to leave and Cosmo took her home. Once at her street, the two got off his scooter and poked around the corner. No black SUVs and James wasn't home yet either. 

"No Falcone thugs", Cosmo said, "Why don't you just tell your guardian about them?" 

Erin shook her head, taking off her helmet as they walked the scooter up to the porch, "Because he won't tell me anything. And it's been bugging me for a long time", she turned to her friend after a second or so, "I told you about when I was thirteen right? About this Don Falcone guy coming to my house?" She waited for a nod before continuing, "His son Mario keeps talking to me and I always get this weird vibe. Before I thought these guys were coworkers of my dad's but-" 

"But you think your dad is some part of some crime syndicate or something?" Cosmo finished her thought for her as they went into her house. 

Erin shut the door and looked at him, "If your dad disappeared for years and only visited you during certain times and then vanished and died. Only for weird looking men in suits come to your house and having this God Father vibe and then weird cars following you for two years, wouldn't you start to question it?" 

"Fair point", Cosmo stated, "When did you start getting the weird vibe?" He wanted to know as they set their bags by the chair in the living room. 

Erin played with her hands, "Just this past year really", she admitted, "I didn't think anything of it until the SUV's started showing up at school or here on my street. Like they were watching me or the house", she looked uncomfortable, "Mario has only talked to me a few times. I haven't seen him in weeks though". She paused and gestured for Cosmo to follow her to the back of the house. "But...something weird is happening and I want to know what it is". 

Cosmo stared at the redhead, "So, you think you might be able to find something in your dad's old office?" 

"I was never allowed in here growing up but I thought it was just an adult rule like 'don't play with your father's golf clubs' type of thing", Erin shrugged. 

Cosmo nodded and Erin approached the office door, which was unlocked and Erin turned the handle pushing the door open. Sunlight streamed through the closed curtains and dust wafted up from the carpet, dancing in the throws of the sun. There were two built in book shelves with cabinets underneath on the right. And a wooden filing cabinet on the left. Two chairs with a table sat in the middle and a desk and chair near the windows. The office looked untouched. Erin and Cosmo moved into the room and Cosmo sat down in one of the chairs while Erin went to the desk. There were two photos on the desk. Erin picked it up. She thought for a moment she was looking at an older version of herself. The woman in the photo had dark red hair and cornflower blue eyes. She was with two men whom Erin knew to be her father, Daniel, and James. They were wearing wedding clothes. And the other photo was of Daniel and James from the same day. 

The rest of the contents of the desk were unused sticky notes, a cup of pens and pencils, and a heavy looking calculator and an adding machine next to it. Erin sunk down into the chair behind the desk and picked up the photo with the woman in it. It was her mother. She ran her fingers over the glass, which hadn't been dusted in ages. Cosmo was watching her quietly and got up, coming around the desk. Erin wiped her face with the back of her sleeve and set the photo back down. Her friend put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. As he kept his eyes on Erin, he noticed the drawers on the side of the desk looked to be slightly open due to years of wear. One drawer looked to be slightly open as though the owner hadn't quite pushed it closed all the way. He patted Erin's shoulder and she looked to see what he was gesturing at. 

With bated breath, Erin pulled the drawer open. Inside was a black calendar book, another stream of unused note paper, some more writing utensils, some change and paperclips. An aray of business cards for take out places. One care stuck out to her and she picked it up. It had Carmine Falcone's hand writing on it and a phone number. She put the card on the desk and then took out the black calendar book. Curiosity getting the better of her, she opened up the book. Cosmo moved towards the filing cabinet and started to look through it. The two worked in sync and in silence for a handful of minutes. Ten or more. Erin found dates and meet up's, dates of meetings and who he was meeting with. All the names, dates, meetings, restaurants, they were all different. 

"What is going on", Erin muttered to herself but was interrupted by shuffling of papers. 

"Erin, was your dad obsessed with math?" Cosmo asked. 

"Why?" She looked up suddenly. 

Cosmo brought her at least five folders worth of papers. He put each folder on the desk and pointed to each, "I watch dad do our taxes and pay bills. These are accountant sheets and stubs", he showed her some of the papers, "They're all from different families. These belong to the Falcone's", he pointed out the different use of pen color. He looked at her, "What did you find?" 

"A date and address book. My dad wrote down names of people he was meeting with, the date and time and where he was meeting them", Erin opened the book and showed him. Flipping through pages and got to the end of the book, "This is the last entry before I was born. Months before I was born", she stabbed at it. 

Cosmo read the notes and looked at her, "This is too weird. Your dad was an accountant for mob families". 

"There's more then one?" She raised her eyebrows. 

Cosmo led her over to the filing cabinets and showed her, "These date back to whenever he got out of college. There's just so much of it". 

"Mom", She murmured under her breath, feeling sad again. 

Cosmo put his hand on her shoulder as she stared down at the floor. This seemed to be a lot to take in. They were broken out of their silence by the sound of a car pulling up and a door opening and closing. Erin and Cosmo left the office and went out to the living room. Cosmo grabbed his bag just as James came through the door. 

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, Erin", Cosmo ducked his head and walked past James with a quick, "Hello sir" and left. 

James stared at him and then back to Erin. He shut the door and took off his jacket. James and Erin were locked in what would appear to be a staring contest. Finally after a few minutes, Erin couldn't stand it anymore. She wasn't good at confrontation but she couldn't do it. It was driving her crazy. 

"James, did my dad ever do work for mob families in Gotham?" Erin asked. 

James stared at her for the longest time, "How--" 

Erin was breathing hard, "Cosmo and I looked in dad's office. We found files an--and a calendar book and--and all this stuff!" She emphasized with her arms, "There's accountant stuff dating back for years and the last date in his calendar is before I was born and it says he was meeting with Don Carmine Falcone!" 

James's world seemed to suddenly crumble as though a million of dynamite sticks had gone off at the same time. He had driven around town after his doctor's appointment and everything, all sounds, sounded like a wind tunnel. He found himself moving quickly to the office in hopes all of this wasn't real, that she hadn't found out. Erin went after him and got into the office first and turned and looked at him. Her curls looking electrocuted. James looked to the open filing cabinet to the desk back to his ward. The fifteen year old girl looking more and more like her mother every day and just like Elizabeth, she would call out his bullshit as Elizabeth would do to Daniel. 

"James tell me! Please!" Erin demanded. 

James sunk into one of the chairs at the small table. He took a moment to regain energy to even use his hands, "I suppose there's no hiding it", he said calmly, "Your father went to college for business and marketing but at the time Gotham was going through a growth and nothing was really blossoming and I had gotten married young and we, me and your father, were both stupid and reckless. Me and your father took odd jobs in the narrows being money counters for gamblers and money launderers. We did drugs and smoked and drank, staying up late. Your father got himself together faster then I did. Your mother didn't know about any of this by the way", he paused, looking at Erin. 

"What happened?" She asked. 

"Your father and I were approached by mob families like Maroni, Falcone, some smaller families with businesses and things of that nature. I stressed out more then your father and my wife got pregnant and she had a son. Daniel and your mother didn't want kids until she got pregnant. Daniel stopped working for multiple families and only worked for the Falcones", James paused again, staring at the floor, "Your birth was the reason I stopped drinking and stopped spending nights in the narrows", he looked at Erin, "My wife took off with our son when she found out I would rather be a parent to you then to our own child. Daniel didn't want you connected to any of this". 

Erin stared down at the ground, taking this all in. "I wanted my dad for so long", she muttered, shaking her head, "But he abandoned me-" 

"He didn't abandon you. Daniel wasn't exactly thinking clearly after your mother died but-" James got up but was cut off. 

"You don't walk out on her little girl when she is five years old and knows nobody else in this world besides her parental guardian!" Erin yelled, shaking from anger, "He doesn't get to do that! I'm glad he's dead! And if for some reason he's not, I don't care", she paused, tears welling up in her eyes, "He abandoned me! Mom and Mave are both dead and my father is either dead or gone forever! I'm glad he's gone because he doesn't deserve my forgiveness!" 

James slowly approached her, holding his hands up to show peace, "I wasn't exactly happy with your father either. I told him so many times to come live with us", he put his hands on her shoulders, "I talked to him after you were born and for weeks I--I tried to reaching out to him", he felt sad, even more alone, "Erin please understand..." 

The redhead looked at him, "Promise me I won't lose you too", she was quiet, silently crying. 

"Only if you promise me you'll never join any sort of criminal activity or do anything that could get you hurt or killed", James stated. 

"Promise", Erin nodded and then buried her face to his shoulder, hugging him. 

James hugged her back before leading her out of the office. He looked at her as Erin grabbed her bag and started to go upstairs, "Erin, promise?" He asked again. 

"Promise", She smiled wanly and held up her pinkie finger. 

James held up his in return. After she had gone to her room, he went back to Daniel's office and cleaned up the files and papers. He muttered spiteful things about his best friend and sat exasperated in the desk chair. What felt like ten or so minutes of being lost in thought, James grabbed a piece of letter head paper from a second drawer and a pen. He started to write a letter to Erin. His hand shaking with each motion. 

_Dear Erin, if your reading this, I'm sorry I broke my promise..._

Reaching her room, Erin closed her door and dropped her bag before dropping to the floor herself. She pulled her knees up and hugged them tight. Pressing her face into them. She sobbed quietly into her leggings. Her body shook and she felt waves of anger, confusion, shock and sadness roll over each other over and over again. She squeezed her eyes and try to breathe calmly. It felt like a nightmare. A long foreboding nightmare. She was angry at James for not telling her any of this but it subsided quickly since he was truthful and upfront but she hated her father for what he had done and hoped he never crossed her path again. It sounded like he had died but it didn't matter. Yes she had mourned his death before now but her sympathy for him no longer existed. 

After what felt like eternity, Erin slowly got up and took her back to her bed and started to take out her homework and get ready for hours of studying and the like. Her mind now focused on what she wanted to be after she went to college. And in fact now she wanted to be a social worker and help children. She got lost in her reading assignment for English Lit and didn't hear James calling her for dinner. James knocked on her door after a few minutes and Erin looked up, putting her book aside. 

"You okay?" He asked as she opened her door. 

"Just getting lost in my head, I guess", Erin shrugged, "You okay?" She wanted to know noticing he looked tired and had red circles under his eyes as though he had either been crying or had dry eyes. 

"Getting lost in my own head too kiddo", James smiled, hoping that answer was good enough for her. 

Both seemed satisfied not to broach the subject from earlier and instead James asked her about school and asked her about Cosmo and if she liked him, teasing her of course. Erin responded and laughed as he teased her. "We're just friends!" and laughter. So many times James wanted to tell her he was sorry and he honestly meant to tell her about her dad and that's not how he wanted her to find out. But again, he knew she'd figure it out herself. Erin seemed passed caring about her father all together and just wanted to play board games and eat ice cream and watch TV. 

A normal night in the house. 

And James was going to cherish it. 

Long after Erin had gone to bed, James finished his letter to her and sealed it in an envelope. He tucked it in her copy of Alice in Wonderland and kissed her forehead goodnight before leaving her room. He would make the excuse he was just checking on her before he went to bed if she asked him later. He had explained everything, in great detail, in his letter. Telling her the reasons why she couldn't know about her father and everything in between. Getting ready for bed, he knelt down by his bed and bowed his head in prayer. 

"Father, art thou in heaven, please look after Erin. Please protect her from those that plague this city. I don't ask for me or her father. But I ask for her mother. Send an angel to this Earth to spare her from violence, bloodshed and loneliness. Give her strength to continue and shield her from pain. Don't let her be taken from all that is good and light. She was not made to live in this city but I fear for her. Please do me this one favor", James prayed, "Amen". 

That night both inhabitants slept peacefully and in the hours early morning, a light red orange hue passed over the city skyline of Gotham City at dawn.


	6. Chapter 6

She stood in the procession line with her eyes staring at her feet, standing between Cosmo Krank and his father. The Tweedle brothers standing on either side of them. Her corn flower blue eyes were red and cheeks tear stained and still damp. She was barely paying attention to anyone or anything going on around her. Her mind was still a haze of the last forty eight hours. She felt Cosmo touch her shoulder and give her arm a rub of comfort but she didn't look up. If anything the touch caused her to squeeze her eyes shut and place her face in her hands, crying even harder.

\- - 

_"James! James!"_

_The papers in her hands waved happily as she ran up the front porch, dropping her bag and coat in the entry way. The papers in question were her entry into Gotham University. She was only seventeen years old and while it was unusual for younger students to be accepted to the university, it wasn't unusual for the the dean and his staff to look for students with high marks. Erin never thought of herself as a high IQ type person by any means but she was quite surprised when the principle had called her to his office to tell her she was one of the top ten students in her class to be accepted. Erin ran around the house looking for James. She felt her heart racing as she slowed down. She figured he might be out doing grocery shopping or at work._

_"Funny, his car keys are here", She spotted them a second later on the counter just as the thought of him being out crossed her mind. _"JAMES!"_ She called again. Maybe out for a walk? It wasn't unusual for him to walk to the stores near them. They were a few blocks from a couple of places. _

_Erin put her papers down on the coffee table in the living room and went upstairs just to check. As soon as she reached the landing an uneasy feeling came over her. She was used to her gut instinct and her intuition perking up by now and right now her stomach was feeling heavy and her throat felt tight with each step. She gripped the hand railing and came up to the top of the stairs, looking around the hallway. The dust from the floor was settling in the sun by the open curtains and it was eerily quiet. She gripped her clothes with her fingers and walked towards James's room._

_The door was open and all thoughts of him hearing her at all if he was home were dashed. Erin walked into his room and saw him lying on his side. The room felt cold and very empty._

_"James?" Her eyes started to well up with tears."J--Jam-"_

_Erin fell to her knees, breaking down on the floor. She tried to get up and go to his bedside but kept tripping on her way there. She checked him for pulse but didn't find one. She took his hand in hers, pressing his hand to her forehead as she dropped to her knees again, this time hard. It took her more then five or six minutes to even process anything around her. James's room had a phone on the nightstand and she grabbed it. She tried to keep her breathing steady but was losing control as she cried. Erin couldn't bring herself to look at James as the phone picked up._

_"Krank's toy shop, this is-"_

_Erin bit her lip and cried hard, "MrKrankItsErinKnightly.Ineedyourhelp.Jamesisdeadandidontknowwhattodo",her words became lost in a sea of sobs._

_It took Griffin Krank twenty minutes to calm her down so she could give him her address and tell her he was sending Cosmo over while he called 911 for her. Erin thanked him but again her words were lost in sobs and she hung up. It felt like hours as the seventeen year old sat in the bedroom, unable to move. Grief, sadness, emptiness overwhelmed her. Thankfully Cosmo arrived minutes before the police and ambulance did. He was able to get her down stairs just before the first car showed up._

_"And you are?" the first responder asked him._

_"I'm her best friend. She called my dad just before he called 911", Cosmo explained._

_Erin was in a fog as the police talked to her and Cosmo tried his best to encourage her to talk to them. She broke down as the ambulance attendants brought James's body down on a stretcher and carried him out to the ambulance bus. Cosmo held her and rubbed her back. A man with a tan coat and lightly graying brown hair and glasses came over to the two teens after speaking with one of the officers. Erin looked up at him with teary eyes._

_"I'm Captain Gordon of the GCPD, it's very nice to meet you", He smiled in a fatherly way, holding out his hand to her._

_Erin timidly shook his hand, "I-I'm--I'm Erin Knightly"._

_"James Emerson, he lived here with you?" Gordon asked kindly._

_"Y--yeah. He was my parents best friend. He--uh worked with my dad and--and was my guardian", Erin stumbled a bit._

_Gordon nodded. He looked at the redhead's corn flower blue eyes and for the rest of his life James Gordon felt he would be haunted by those eyes. Not in a terrible way but it was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something about her. Maybe it was nothing. He'd been on his way back to work after a late lunch when he'd seen the cars and the ambulance. He felt terrible for those who lost a loved one. This was one of those times Gordon felt he needed to give his sympathies in person._

_"Ms. Knightly, I'm so sorry for you loss", Gordon took her hand kindly, giving her a fatherly smile, "If there is anything I or my men can do for you, don't hesitate to ask", he paused, "Would you like to come down to the hospital? I'll personally drive you", he offered._

_"I have to sign paperwork or something, right?" She asked quietly, "Can Cosmo come with me?"_

_"I don't see why not", Gordon stated._

_Cosmo grabbed Erin's coat and bag, helping her outside to Gordon's car. Gordon asked a few police officers try to track down a living relative of Erin's and give him a call when they were able to. Erin hugged her coat and buried her face into it, crying harder as she and Cosmo sat in the backseat of Gordon's car. Cosmo rubbed her back and quietly talked to her, not knowing what to say but trying his best. When they reached the hospital, Cosmo called his dad on his flip phone and Gordon sat with Erin in the waiting room, explaining that they were going to do some tests in the morgue._

_"Do you want anything? Coffee?" Gordon asked._

_"No", Erin shook her head, "Tea, please", she gave him a small smile._

_Gordon nodded and went to the cafeteria to procure a beverage for her. Erin sat staring off into space and feeling very far away. Cosmo had change in his pocket and got her a snack from the vending machine. "You have to eat something", he told her, offering her a bag of Frito's. Erin took it and just stared at it. She moved the bag with her fingers. Cosmo sat down next to her but she wouldn't look at him. Gordon came back with a cup and gave it to her._

_"All they had was Earl Grey, is that okay?" He asked._

_Erin nodded, "Thank you", her hands started to shake._

_Gordon pulled up a chair in front of her and sat down, taking out a pen and a small notepad, "Erin, I'm going to need ask you a few more questions okay?"_

_Erin nodded again, "O--okay"._

_She felt Cosmo touch her arm reassuringly and she smiled at him. Her hands shaking as she drank the cup of tea. It didn't have the right amount of sugar to cream but she drank it regardless. Her throat felt tight again as she thought about Mave and being the hospital when she had died. She heard Gordon's questions but didn't remember answering. Her thoughts felt faraway. She remembered the day she found her mom's copy of Alice in Wonderland. Her meeting Mave on the playground. Her and James playing board games together. All those sunny afternoons felt like years ago..._

\- - 

The ball bearers brought the coffin over and lowered it onto the machine that slowly lowered it down into the ground. Cosmo and his father had to help Erin sit down into a folding chair they had brought for her Derek and David Tweedle stood on either side of her now, both placing a hand on her shoulders and offering her a bottle of water and a few tissues. Everyone around them remained quiet as it took Erin a few minutes to get up, fumbling in her coat pocket for a folded piece of paper. Tissues squeezed in her hand, she made her to the front of the crowd. She shakily opened the piece of paper and her eyes started to water again as she took a deep breath. 

"You were more of a father to me then my own father was. You made sure I was well fed and you made sure I never went without. I never knew what to call you, so I just called you, James. But you were more then just someone who took care of me, you were one of my best...best friends", Erin's voice started to crack, "You were a mom and a dad to me when I thought I had neither--", she stopped reading from the page in front of her that she had written, staring at the lowered coffin, "I got into Gotham University, James. That's what I was going to tell you when I came home", she bit her lip, shoulders shaking. 

Her friends went forward as the coffin finally lowered into the ground and the priest said a few final words. Erin was brought back to her chair and she sunk down into it. She was gripping the piece of paper like it was note. Staring off again in silence. She barely noticed Mario Falcone standing by a couple of black cars as the small crowd thinned a bit. After a few minutes, Erin was led by the Tweedle brothers to their car when Mario stepped forward. 

"Miss Knightly, my father wanted to send his regards and sympathies. He couldn't be here today but he wanted me to come in his stead", Mario smiled at her, "I'm sorry for your loss". 

Erin was wiping her face with the tissues she had clutched in her hands and pushed the piece of paper back into her jacket pocket and politely shook Mario's hand. "T--Thank you", she said quietly and seemed disinterested in wanting to talk to anyone. 

Mario got the hint and let her walk past him. Erin was glad to be away from him if she was being honest. The Tweedles asked her if she wanted them to beat him up or something to that extent but she just shook her head, part of her chuckling at the thought but it was fleeting. There was no party or anything after the funeral and Erin hadn't been in the right state of mind the last couple of days to even think of anything past burying the only family she had left. None of the officers at the GCPD could locate any relative or any sort of family friend. They went back to her house and walking inside was as haunting as ever. Cosmo and his dad were putting out some snacks in the kitchen and trying to make the place feel homey. Erin had been staying with the Krank's the last couple of nights as she was unable to really sleep in the house by herself. 

"I set up a memorial for you", Cosmo gestured Erin to a stand with framed pictures on it. 

"Thank you", Erin smiled but she looked away, wiping her eyes. 

"Erin we can just play board games", "Yeah we don't have to talk about the funeral if that's what you want", Derek and David chimed in together. 

"That'd be nice, actually", Erin decided. 

She showed them the game closet and despite everyone's best efforts to cheer her up and do anything that wouldn't make her sad or upset, she seemed to silently cry or look away and wipe her eyes. The Tweedles even tried to set up Monopoly in a hilarious way to make her laugh and seemed to work for the most part but she was just humoring them so they wouldn't worry about her. Cosmo picked up on this and after his dad and the Tweedles left, he found Erin in her room upstairs. She was sitting on her bed holding an envelope in her hands. Cosmo shut the door and walked over. 

"What is it?" He asked curiously. 

"It's---it's from James. I was putting my books back on their shelf and this--this fell out", her voice was quiet. 

She handed Cosmo the envelope, unable to open it herself. Cosmo sat down next to her and carefully opened the letter. 

"Do--do you want me to read it to you?" He asked her. 

Erin didn't reply. But the way she seemed to not mind he got the hint to go ahead and do so regardless. 

_Dear Erin, if your reading this, I'm sorry I broke my promise._

_I can't be there for you like you'd want me to. And I didn't want to tell you. More like I couldn't tell you. The doctors gave me two years to live. I have advanced lung cancer and my body is slowly deteriorating, it's a disease they can't stop or fix. I opted to have zero treatment because I didn't want you to worry or know about any of this. Also the treatments had more cons then pros. I'll most likely go in my sleep. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I never told you about your father or about me. Please understand that Gotham is very dangerous and the life your father and I had almost consumed us. But you are so much like your mother. Elizabeth asked me to care for you the night her water broke, she begged me to do anything your father asked of me. It's scary that you and her share the same intuition. She knew she was going to die and she did and you picked up on so much at such a young age._

_Erin, please promise me you won't go looking for trouble. That you will stay as far away as you can from the toxicity in this city. Your mother believed you'd have a guardian angel watching over you, who would help you stay safe. I can't say that I can believe that nor did your father if I'm being quite honest. But what do we know? I hope your mother's guardian angel shows up to protect you after I'm gone. I hope he or she helps you and maybe one day leave this city. I pray you beat this city and survive it._

_Just remember, no matter what happens, I'm proud of you and so is your mother._

_~ James_

Cosmo stopped reading and saw that Erin seemed to staring off, tears rolling down her still damp cheeks. He put down the letter and reached over, hugging her. She didn't hug back but he didn't care. Erin just stared at the wall, her heart breaking more and more. 

\- - 

Graduation day came and went and Erin found herself in a crowd of strangers save for the Krank's and a few of her friends from Psyche class. She happily accepted flowers and cards and hugs and laughs and the Tweedles carried her on their shoulders around the field after. The principle and a few of her teachers gave her their condolences, thoughts and well wishes. Most of the dreams she'd had the week prior to graduation was that James and Mave weren't dead. And that they and her parents were the ones sitting in the front row of her graduation. Mave was bringing her flowers and they were laughing and holding hands in the field and discussing college. Once the dream got to her mother hugging her, Erin would wake up. 

"You're gonna love college, Erin, it's quite fun", David Tweedle engaged with her. 

"Quite fun. We'll even show you around. You may be in a few our classes", Derek added. 

Erin nodded and looked hopeful. They'd been seniors when she'd been a freshmen in high school but they had stuck around and hung out with her because she'd been so kind to them. They were lovable goofballs so it was sweet they'd look out for her. Cosmo took Erin home on his scooter after the festivities at the school. They sat on the front porch for a while after she had put the flowers and cards inside on the entryway table. 

"You'll tell me how college is right?" Cosmo teased her. 

"I'll tell you everything when I get there, I promise", Erin smiled, "And I wanted to say thank you". 

"For?" He asked, raising his eyebrows, pushing his glasses up onto his nose. 

"For being my friend and for being there for me during all of this", She gestured with her hands, "I just...I don't really have anyone else". 

Cosmo looked at her, "It's no problem really. You're a sweet person and you're going to have all sorts of friends besides me", he paused, "I'm really sorry about James though. Are you going to be okay by yourself tonight?" 

"I don't know but I think I will", Erin wasn't certain but she was pretty sure she'd be okay, "Captain Gordon is going to get a real estate agent for me. Can't really own my own house so I have to sell it". 

Cosmo nodded, before looking at his watch, "I have to get going. Dad wants me to help with inventory and I promised I would". 

Erin smiled and nodded. She got up and hugged her friend before he left. She sat on the porch for a while, watching the cars go by. Mr. Sullivan, her mailman, had retired a long time ago and the quiet of the yard seemed eerie. She used to sit out here and play games, play pretend tea parties. James's car still sat in it's parking space, waiting to be bought after she had put out a sign for it. She waited until the street lights came on before going inside. She put the flowers in a new vase and she put her cards on the table where the mail usually went. After retiring to pajamas and putting on the TV, Erin made a kettle of hot water and made a cup of tea. Sitting down with her Wonderland book in the living room, TV on a random Hallmark original movie, she opened the book and played a game she used to play as a little girl. 

"Still haven't met you", she mused to herself in an innocent way, finger taping on the image of the Mad Hatter, "Or you dear Hare", her mind seemed to add in a peculiar way. It was just a game to her and nothing too serious but it made her quite intrigued. "We shall see I suppose", she said to herself in a humorous way. Anything to get her mind off of recent events. 

The summer had been smooth sailing, better then expected. Gordon got her a good realtor and the situation was explained to the bank and so forth. It was hard to pack, give away and sell items from the house. A home she'd known for seventeen years. Finding an apartment off campus was rough but she found one a couple of blocks from the university and it was near take out spots and shops so she could walk easily enough. Erin had burned all her father's paper work and anything to do with her father being connected to Don Falcone or any mob boss in Gotham. She barely got to see Cosmo due to him now working full time at his father's toy shop but he had been able to go with her for college orientation and walk around with her and he helped her move her belongings into her off-campus apartment. 

Just before her first day of classes were to begin, Erin went to the cemetery to lay flowers on the graves of her mother, James and Mave. Her father's body had never been found after the plane crash so she left two flowers on her mother's grave, one of her and one for him. 

"I know you'd all be so proud. I won't let you down", Erin replied.   

After visiting the cemetery, Erin went back to the house to drop off the keys. She went inside and everything was empty. Every room. She went upstairs to her old bedroom and looked inside. She remembered sitting up here and playing with Mave but the image of it vanished almost instantly. She checked the other rooms just in case anything got left behind. After standing in the empty kitchen,  she sighed and walked to the front door. 

"Goodbye house", Erin murmured as she shut the door, leaving the keys in the old fashioned mail box hanging up by the door on the porch before walking down the front steps. 

The first few weeks of college were nothing like high school. Erin felt more alone here then she ever had. True the Tweedle brothers did have a couple of classes with her and hung out off campus but they were the only ones she knew and she felt like they were the only people who liked her. It was just her nerves and anxiety of being in a new place but Erin got the impression that she wasn't well liked and so therefore she kept to herself. That was until she met Bradley, the only other person on campus who looked out for her. She wasn't sure of what year he was in or what classes he was taking but Bradley worked in the campus's coffee shop and always greeted her with a smile and knew her tea order before she could even ask. 

One afternoon when she didn't have any classes, she found herself in the school's library. She quietly sat down at a table near the front and set up her text books and started on homework. She realized she needed to get a book from a shelf after going over one of the English questions and set out to get the answer. She was walking through one of the aisles before deciding to look up the book at the front in the index drawer. Standing at the front, Erin quietly went through the cards when a man with short dark ginger hair and dark glasses walked over to where she was standing. Erin looked up to see him on other side of the drawers going through a book index as well. His dark brown eyes glanced at her over his glasses. 

Erin blushed, feeling horrible for staring, "I'm sorry", she apologized. 

The tall man seemed unphased,"I don't think I've seen you before. You're not in any of my Psychology classes", He stated. 

Erin seemed taken aback, "I'm new and all of the spots for psychology were taken by the time I signed up for classes". 

"Ah, well I suppose I will just have to fix that", he replied, "My apologies, I'm Professor Crane", he held out a thin hand to her. 

"Erin Knightly", she stated back, shaking his hand, "And you can do that? I mean, talk to the scheduler?" 

"I'm sure something can be arranged", the ginger haired professor told her, "What book are you looking for?" 

Erin paused and noticed she hadn't even gotten through the C's yet, "I'm looking for a book on the English language and writing". 

"Try the Cambridge Guide to English Usage", the Professor commented, he pulled a card out from his side and gave it to her. 

"Thank you", Erin beamed, her curls dancing against her shoulders. 

She went on her way to the shelves. She found the book and was bringing the card back to the index drawer and paused, "I just have one quick ques--", she had half expected for him to still be there and looked around to find him gone, "Question", she paused quietly and went back to her table. She looked around again. No sign of him anywhere. 

_That was. Odd._.


End file.
